The connection a girl makes with her big sister is a unique one. You may see your friends and the relationships they've made with their big or little, and wonder to yourself: how it can be so different from your own? If you and your big initially didn't become as close as you had hoped, it can be upsetting when it feels like everyone around you was inseparable with their big or little, from the start.
But, realistically, there isn't just one specific type of big/little relationship, and there's no mold that everyone is supposed to fit into. We're all different people, so every friendship is going to be different. No matter the type of big/little relationship you may have, each one is equally as wonderful, because at the end of the day, you're sisters first.
I've begun to recognize the uniqueness within each big/little relationship, by observing the different ways that big and little's interrelate with each other. Sure, you and your big or little might interact differently from those around you, but that doesn't prevent one friendship from being equally as remarkable as another. The most common big/little relationships certainly vary, but they all have the potential to be great.
The best friends relationship.
It's very rare that a big and little become best friends. It's one of those things where you two are so close, and you hangout together so often, that people sometimes forget that you're big and little, because they assume you're just best friends. Cue the Hannah Montana 'Best of Both Worlds' music video, because that's exactly how it feels.
When you two are best friends, you never have to stress over who your maid of honor is going to be. You tend to think so similarly, that you can always trust their opinion and advice. Your big is someone who you look up to as a little, and as a big, you have someone to be a role model for, which is a total honor.
Plus, as a big, you have the opportunity to set an example for your little, and help integrate them into the house: all while taking screenshots of the ugly snap chats that they send you.
The mentor/mentee relationship.
This is essentially the original purpose of big and little. As a big, you do everything you can to make sure your little is happy and enjoying themselves, as they start to integrate into the chapter. You strive to make them feel comfortable immediately after joining, so that you can show them what it's like to be a part of something bigger than yourself. You show them how magical joining a chapter can be, because that's exactly how you felt when you joined, and it's a cool thing to share your experiences with someone else.
If you ever need help with something, you don't know what's going on, or you just need some advice, you know that you can always count on your big to be there. Your big will always make an effort to guide you, and to make your experience the best that it could ever be.
The 'never really talk but still so thankful to have' relationship.
This one is similar to a long-distance relationship: you text and snap chat often enough to know what's going on in each others lives, but you don't actually get to hang out face to face as much as you'd like. Maybe you live in, and your big lives out, or you just don't get the chance to hang out, but when you do, it's totally magical and awesome. After all, they do say that the best friendships are between those who can go for long periods of time without seeing each other or talking, but when they do, it's as if no time had passed. Regardless, every big/little sorority squat picture is perfect, and family nights are still a riot.
The age-gap relationship.
Something I've noticed with this one, is that so many great things evolve from this kind of big/little relationship. It's usually a little awkward at first, and it can definitely take some getting used to, but once you two start to form a friendship, it turns into something great. Sure, your little might be older than you, or they may be on track graduate first, but that doesn't mean that you can't be closer than ever. With age also comes maturity, wisdom, and experience. Having the chance to learn something from others is an awesome thing. We often forget that people younger than us can also teach us a thing or two.
The conflicting schedules relationship.
Your class schedules might be completely flipped, or one may have brutal work hours all the time, leaving no time for you guys to see each other. Maybe the age gap is so big that one of you has already graduated. It doesn't interfere with you two being best friends on snap chat, though. Sure, you may not get to hangout that often, but that doesn't mean that you have to sacrifice your friendship. So basically, you're in a "flirtationship" with your big, and that's ok.
The distant relationship.
This is one where maybe your big doesn't reach out very often, your little goes MIA sometimes, or one of you is just so independent or busy, that there isn't a whole lot of time to even get to know each other. However, that shouldn't limit you from getting to know the people in your chapter, as well. Sometimes the best relationships take some time to develop, so even if you guys didn't hit it off right away, your peak could come one year later, for all you know.
The most important thing with this one, is to remain open-minded about all of it. Everything happens for a reason, and you have to put your faith into the officer who assigned you to your big or little. You have to trust your sisters. Even if you aren't close, or you seldom talk to your big, you can still learn a thing or two from the situation. It can help you appreciate the friends in your life that are always there for you. It can teach you to have more confidence in yourself, by compelling you to put yourself out there, and reach out to others first.
Whether it's your big or little that's holding back and making it difficult to form a relationship, remember that you can always learn something from each other. You joined your chapter for a reason, and so did she.
