There are four general levels of friendship. First, two people are strangers. You always seem to pass by this one person but have never really talked to them. Second, these two people are acquaintances. You begin to make small talk every time you see each other. Thirdly, people become friends. The next level, the fourth level, of becoming close friends is something that I recognize as rare.
Close friendships include the rare people in your life who you enjoy being with. These are the people who consistently listen to whatever you have to say. You could be having an extremely bad day and he or she will notice regardless of how hard you attempt to hide your sorrows. Close friends do not take your stories from your terrible day and attempt to one-up it by telling a story that you end up pitying. They do not force you to do anything you refuse to do. These are the people who build you up to be a better person instead of someone who tears you down.
Your close friends are the people who you have deep conversations with about life. Nothing makes me feel more important in someone else’s life than having an emotional conversation with another. This factor is what I believe as the vital aspect of close friends. People become vulnerable in front of each other, a bridge of trust is built, and you are there as someone that can be relied on.
The difference between the third and fourth level for me is extremely important. I personally see friends as people who only know surface level facts about my life, and maybe a bit more. However, they do not know exactly who I am. Thinking like this may be hindering possible growth from becoming a third to fourth level friend, but this is what I believe. If someone does not open up their own life with me, then why should I bother speaking of personal topics with them? If someone tells me surface level facts, then I will return with surface level talks. Do not be offended if I do not tell you everything. My life is an open book, as long as you are too.
Thoughts of this end up haunting me back. People end up constructing ideas of me that are either worse or better than who I believe myself to be. I have friends who think of me to be higher than reality.
For example, I could be having an extremely rough week complaining about my exams and classes, but people would just tell me to be quiet. I am told to be quiet because they assume to have it worse. Sure, this could be possible, but as the person who has never told you the entire story, you do not have the right to tell me to shut up. We are friends and others do not see the entire picture. People do not have the authority to tell me what to do, especially if you do not now my story.
I also know people who put me down because I do not tell them every single plan I have. For example, some think I am a social hermit just because our encounters usually involve me doing some type of schoolwork. I do more things beyond school, and again, people have no right to spread things without knowing the full story.
Friends are people in your life who are just there and do not really impact your growth. Close friends push for your growth and support your decisions. Friends do not know your entire story, and close friends do. This is because they put in the effort during the relationship, deserving the story.
