16 Different Kind Of Drunks At Every Party: Which One Are You? | The Odyssey Online
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16 Different Kind Of Drunks At Every Party: Which One Are You?

Beer Tears Tina, is that you?

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16 Different Kind Of Drunks At Every Party: Which One Are You?

These are some of the different kind of drunks that you can see at every party.

1. Reckless Rhonda

Rhonda is the person who completely loses her sense of boundaries when she starts drinking. She can be found running into things, falling all over the place, tackling random people, knocking things over, and waking up next to something she stole on the way home from the bar the night before. She's also that one person you always have to yell at in the morning because she did something stupid, again, like colored all over the wall with crayons. All in all, she's always a lot of fun to drink with, but always pays for it in the morning.


2. Lovable Linda

Linda can easily be found in the crowd, just look for the happiest person at the party who's expressing their undying love to their BFF. If you need more help finding her, look for these Linda characteristics- holding someone in a death grip, which is always accompanied by bent leg cross, and topped off with a slight "I'm totally sober" lean. Fair warning, the more drinks she has, the less personal space she's going to give, and she always has to "tell you something very important." Linda is very approachable and full of joy, that is, until the next morning.


3. Dancin' Dianna

Can't find Dianna? Check the dance floor, or a random frat table. It doesn't matter if it's Fetty Wap's 679, or Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On, Dianna is spitting out dance moves left and right, and she's not stopping until the sun comes up. No, really, even if you make her leave the party, she'll dance her way home. Little tip- Dianna is not the person you want to be around if you don't like to dance, because odds are, if she makes eye contact with you, you're going to get pulled on the dance floor and that's no place for two left feet Tabitha.



4. Mamma Marge

Marge is the blessed mother of the group. But, don't let her motherly instincts fool you. She may be taking care of you by walking, well, dragging you home, peeling you off of the bathroom floor, feeding you left-over Baked Ziti, acting like she completely has herself together, but in reality she is 10x drunker than you are, and that Baked Ziti she's feeding you, well, let's just say, it's not Baked Ziti. She'll never admit that she's a lot drunker than you are, though... Typical mom.



5. Wandering Wanda

Wanda is someone we all hate to love. She's the person you always start the night with but never see again. She can never stay one place for more than 5 minutes. If you make plans with her to go somewhere, you better have her in a headlock, because if you take your eye off her for even a second, she's gone. Wanda is the life of the party and the pro at the Irish Goodbye.


6. Olympian Olivia

Oh Olivia, will you ever be able to play a game for fun? Olivia is the person you can always find playing the drinking games. If you can't find the games, listen harder, you'll always be able to hear Olivia yelling, follow that voice and you've found the games. Olivia can always be seen with her go-to partner and they'll be at that table the whole night. While most people see drinking games as fun, Olivia sees them as the Olympics. You start to wonder if she was that kid who always took gym class seriously in high school. Here's a tip for you if you've never been around Olivia, when reality sets in and she loses, you better step back, and take the vase with you, because sh** is about to go down.


7. Beer Tears Tina

Tina is simply the person who ends up ruining the night. She has one tiny sip of alcohol and then starts crying over absolutely nothing. Don't even try to ask her what's wrong, she's famous for those four little words, "I don't know whhhyyy!" If you see Tina acting up, run for the hills because if she sees you, she's latching on to you for the night. You'll never be able to stop the Tina drunk floodgates.


8. Vivian the Vulture

Vivian only has one goal for the night and one goal only, taking someone home. From the moment you walk into the party with her, she can be seen scoping out the prey. Her eyes open wide, pupils become dilated, she's like an alert cat at night when they hear a creepy sound, she's determined. She's constantly in your ear telling you her plan to catch the next one. Soon enough, you just stop listening. Though, you have to admire Vivian, as she walks home with the potential suitor in smiles, she's always had that extra boost of confidence that you've always wanted.


9. Carol and Carl, The Couple

You will never be able to help Carol and Carl. They're the ones at every party either fighting, or making out in the corner of the room...or both. They go from being Beer Tears Tina, to Vivian Vulture, to Aggressive Ally, to Lovely Linda all in the matter of one night. It's exhausting to try and keep up with. They never seem to listen to you either, it's best to leave them be because they're in their own little world, and I bet you, they'll be fine tomorrow morning, as always!



10. Aggressive Ally

Ally tends to pop out of nowhere. She's fine one minute, and then she's storming across the room, hands curled into sweaty fists, with a mission on her face. That mission, you know, is never a good one. She is the one who gets kicked out of the bars before 2 a.m, being violent with lamp posts and garbage cans, and starting fights with people over the littlest thing. Your walls hate her, and you can't control her, but you can't help but still love her. I mean, who else would hold her back from hitting those inanimate objects that 'called her ugly,' right?



12. Peer Pressure Paula

"Not drinking" is not in her vocabulary. She's drunk hours before the actual party, and when she ends up getting there, she's the one making everybody take shot after shot so they can get on her level. Paula loves to carry around a whole bottle of liquor, which she constantly shoves into peoples' faces, making them take a 'sip' and secretly filling up their cups while they aren't looking. She won't be satisfied if that bottle isn't finished by the end of the night. If you don't have a full cup when you're around her, prepare yourself, because you're about to. It's all in good intentions, though, she just wants everyone to have as much fun as she's having, I mean, doesn't everyone?



13. Naked Natasha

With each drink Natasha has, an article of clothing is taken off. It can be negative 28-degrees outside, but she doesn't care. You can never post the pictures you took with Natasha on Facebook, because the last thing your lovely grandma wants to see is naked Natasha photo bombing your picture. She's a free bird that Natasha, no care in the world. Whether she's fully clothed or has just one sock on, you still love her to death. If she didn't end the night with no clothes on, did she even go out?


14. "I Swear, I'm Straight" Stephanie

As Stephanie downs the drinks, the other team seems to gain another player. Steph always seems to get a little flirty with the girls when she drinks. Seeing her drunkenly make out with numerous ladies weekend after weekend has you questioning whether or not sober Stephanie is being true to herself. Alcohol brings out the truth right? But, bring her flirty decisions up to her in the morning and she'll always deny it, claiming it was just "for fun" and she was just "drunk." No shame girl, embrace it! In the words of Fat Amy...


15. Lightweight Lisa

She tries so hard, that Lisa. Even after all her attempts to look as sober as possible, everyone knows you're sh-wasted. Lightweight Lisa can't help but slightly sway in her seat, as she tries to keep her lil' drunk eyes open wide, and her words un-slurred. All she had was one beer. People secretly envy you, for you won't have to endure all those extra calories to be drunk, like they do. Lisa tries so hard to pretend the whole night that she isn't drunk, but we all see through all your failed attempts to act sober buddy, we know you're sh-wasted, you little lightweight.


16. Stoner Stacey

Squinty eyes, cemented smile, head slightly tilted back, a long, slow chuckle here and there, lounging on the couch, taking in everything going on around them, just being the poster child for a Wallflower just makes you ask yourself, is Stacey even drunk? Nope, Stacey never drinks, she's the calmest of the bunch, the hippie even, some may say. She can be seen discussing how open her mind is, how life is so much better 'up in the sky', and having the deepest conversation about life with you that you've ever had. If you start talking to her, you'll be there for a while, she loves a good high chat. Don't be alarmed if she throws you in on the rotation, she's a lover, a sharer, an enthusiast. What can we say, everyone loves a Stoner Stace.



So, which one are you?
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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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