If I have said it once, I have said it a thousand times: I do not get homesick. I’m adaptable, I get along with everyone; I love school and traveling and new experiences. But as the semester wraps up and my time as an undergraduate student comes to an end, I feel excited for the future and also I feel something else. This something else is what is so puzzling. I’m about to go home for the summer so it can’t possibly be that I miss my Vermont home; maybe it’s a different kind of homesickness.

I’ve been at Endicott since I was just a baby freshman. Bright eyed, backpack stuffed with binders and notebooks, ready to begin my four years. Four years is a decent chunk of time to spend somewhere. I’ve lived in four residence halls, spent eight semesters in classrooms, stacked my resume high with experiences and internships and now it’s almost all over.

As underclassmen were stressing out over housing and class selection, I wasn’t. I almost didn’t even remember that it was that time of year until I heard my younger classmates venting about it before classes started. I have moved on and in one month, I’ll have officially moved on and out of college. And that’s scary. I’m ready, sure, and definitely excited for what is next to come. But Endicott is home too.

So yes, maybe this sadness I am feeling is homesickness but not for the home in Vermont with my family, but the one I have established here on this Oceanside campus. At this time next year who really knows where I’ll be and what I’ll be doing. But one thing is for sure. I will be an alumna. I won’t be printing thesis, going to the Pickled Onion on Wednesdays for karaoke, eating at the Callahan, walking to class, living with my best friends, or counting down the days until graduation. Those moments will all be another world away from me—someone else’s reality and part of my past.

And if you’re like me, a little sad about leaving your college home, it’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re not ready to move on, it just means you’re finally growing up.