Your 20s are a time to enjoy your life and find yourself. Bumps in the road are usually inevitable. You will most likely run into someone who either breaks your heart or makes you lose yourself. Based on my experience, here are ten signs that you are dating a boy and not a man, and you should prepare yourself for lots of tears.

1. A boy is selfish with his time.

He prefers to hang out with the boys much more than spending time with you. You might be annoying, but usually, it is him not wanting to get attached. A man will always want to spend time with you as long as he is available. A man respects you enough to tell you when he needs time for himself.

2. A boy makes empty promises.

The more dreamlike the promise, the less likely it will happen. Yes, he promises that next time he will get you flowers or he will spend more time with you. He promises you that you are the only one that has his attention, but in reality, he will never commit to you. A man will always follow through with his promises. If he realizes that he cannot do something, he will not promise it.

3. A boy makes you feel like a booty call.

A boy will only want you for late night sex. A man will want you because of your character. This is a tough one to let slip by because it is easy to give into the late night text. Do not do it, sis. He is playing you and you will know it. A man will give you the time of day at any time, not just at 2 a.m.

4. A boy will never know what he wants.

One day he loves you with all his heart. The next, he can’t even reply to your text. He is indecisive and does not know what he wants because he is immature. A man, on the other hand, will always know what he wants and will go for it. For a man, it does not matter the cost because once he has his eyes on you, he will want to get to know you.

5. A boy will not allow you to grow.

Working on ourselves is something we should be doing constantly, but with a boy, that is almost impossible to do. There is no room for bettering yourself because you are too worried as to what he is doing. With a man, this is not an issue. He is mature enough to understand what you need.

6. A boy cannot handle strong women.

A boy looks for girls, not women. He lives in the moment, never thinking about the future, so he much rather have a girl who is fun and wild, than a woman who is ambitious and grounded. If a time comes where a woman is attracted to him, he will not be able to handle her strength and will play with her feelings. A man is attracted to a woman’s strength and he knows how to treat her well.

7. A boy doesn’t want a label.

A boy does not want a label on “hanging out”. Even though you have both decided you will not see other people, a boy will continue to say “we are not together” or “you are not my girlfriend”. A man will never have you guessing what you are or where you are at in the relationship.

8. A boy will make you believe you are asking for too much or expecting too much.

Boys cannot handle the responsibility for what you ask. He will always think you are asking too much of him when the simplest of things are brought up. Yet, he is quick to ask anything of you. Men always reason with you and find a common ground in any given situation.

9. A boy is insecure.

A boy will constantly seek security when it comes to his partner. He will fish for compliments, accuse you of not being loyal or trusting, will go through your phone to find out what you're saying about him to your friends. A boy will go to great lengths to prove your sincerity for him is wrong or a facade. A man is secure within himself and trusts you. He will bluntly ask you if he is doubting your loyalty towards him and your relationship, but he will never accuse you.

10. A boy makes excuses.

There is nothing worse than having someone by your side who you can never get the truth out of because all he does is make excuses. A boy will always have something smart to say about why he cannot see you on a certain day or why he cannot commit. A man will be truthful with you. He does not make excuses because he does not need to. He is interested in you and will always show it.

Bottom line here; a boy is not worth the tears and a man is worth the world. There is no age limit to being a boy. When you find that man that treats you with respect and does not act like a boy, keep him because those do not come around every day.