There will be some pretty amazing, memorable days in your life that will be remembered as you continue your journey. There are also those days that you wish either never happened and could be erased from your memory. Those are the moments where we the seek someone to understand our situations. It is the time when we need direction, but above all, comfort at those low moments are what can make the biggest difference.
I once read a book entitled "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" and one of the key phrases Stephen Covey discusses is the idea of "seek first to understand." The first time I read this I said, "Hey, I do that all the time, no worries." I quickly learned that empathizing with someone was not as simple as it seemed in my head. We all come from different paths of life and in that journey, each one of us has different obstacles to overcome. It is those contrasting approaches to life that many times makes it hard to empathize with one another.
Stephen Covey's way of seeking first to understand gives us a guide as to what it is a friend, relative, or family member would be needed for in those times that their loved one's are in need. It is not to listen to someone's situation and tell them the next steps to do. It is also not to tell them to move on and get over themselves. The most basic thing to do in that situation is listen and find a way to fit in their shoes for that time being. The trust that is bestowed on you when they share a piece of their journey with you, is not one to be taken lightly as if nothing really mattered because it was not your journey. Every person that shares their story with you is someone that takes the time to let you understand them in order to be there for them.
Through all the good and the bad, the one thing to remember is that it is not about listening and telling people whether they are right or wrong or even what to do next. It can be as simple as listening there and saying absolutely nothing for hours. That kind of selflessness is what is most appreciated by others.
Moral of the story is that you as a person who is helping someone in their lowest moments or even just simple moments where someone is needed, should not assume that everything is the way they should be. "Seek first to understand" and then relationship will grow from the trust and comfort that has been established between the two people.
