When I had officially been approved to graduate, the only thing I felt was overwhelming relief. I told my mom, who then asked, “are you going to go to commencement?” I gave that question a lot of thought over the months to follow and finally got to an answer: no.

A lot of people were shocked, and to be honest, almost appalled or disappointed. I had one co-worker offer to get a ticket by any means necessary to the commencement if it meant I’d walk.

I wasn’t trying to cause controversy or upset anybody, I just figured a lot of my close friends didn’t go to CSI. I wouldn’t be graduating with any of them, and who wants to sit hours and hours in the hot sun on the Great Lawn? I thought maybe I was doing my family and friends a favor.

As June came closer and closer, I started doubting my answer. I switched my mind almost hourly. What if I was making a huge mistake and regret not going when I’m older?

I stuck with my decision and did not attend commencement, but I added one more reason to my list.

College is an indescribable experience. You learn a lot about yourself and the person you are becoming. The four years you spend there are unique to you and only you.

I was not the type of student to join 4 clubs, 2 sororities, and 3 honor societies while volunteering on the weekends. Just typing that out made me tired. While I admire students who achieved all that, it just wasn’t part of my college experience.

For me, my college experience was greatly shaped by things and people who weren’t on campus at all. I made some great friends in CSI and met some interesting people. But when I look back on the past four years, the things I most remember are all the late night guacamole binge sessions in my friend’s basement, hanging out with my co-workers after our shifts and getting the whole gang of us together on the weekends to just have fun.

So, instead of going to commencement, I decided to have a party with all my closest friends and family because those are the people who have occupied my memories of the past four years. They are the ones who have helped shaped my college experience and make it as awesome, crazy and life changing as it was.

I expect my decision to not go to commencement will definitely be met with some disappointment for the next few years, but as tough as that decision was, it was right for me.