I never knew how much my mother meant to me, until I saw her lying in a hospital bed with tubes surrounding her, a neck brace choking her as she struggled to say “I love you."
As a generation, we generally have little to no respect for our parents. I grew up loving my mother and my father, equally, but once the teenage angst hit, they were pretty much screwed. I began to isolate myself and push my mother away. I would say rude things to her without a care in the world.
However, once I saw her so broken, so cracked on the edges and so beaten my heart instantly broke.
She had damaged her vertebrae, and she had to have surgery to repair the damage. She had plates set in between three vertebrae, and she had two bulging disks in her back removed.
She warned me before her surgery that she would be in a lot of pain, that she wouldn't be able to talk much. I pretended to be strong, I hid my anxious state and smiled and nodded at her.
I always have her to text when things go wrong, she always texts me no matter what time it is. I look over to my phone, hoping maybe she sent a message my way. However, I know she's in that hospital bed asleep.
I guess I finally realized how much my mother has sacrificed for me. She carried me in the womb for nine months, skipped work to take care of me many of times, she taught me life lessons and supported me throughout my childhood.
She always stood behind the scene of my passions. She worked her ass off to make ends meet, just to see me perform at that football game or see me sing in that one musical.
She is absolutely wonderful, beautiful, breathtaking. And for some reason, until this very moment, I could not see it.
Starting from whenever I was a child, she would always let me know how beautiful I was. She would let me know that I was very special to her, and she would always ensure I was happy.
Looking back, I feel guilty for never appreciating it.
As teenagers and young adults, we always feel as if our parents (mostly mothers) are on our backs. That their little "where are you going in that"s and "who are you going with, where are you going"s are the most annoying thing ever. But all they are doing is caring about us.
Why is it that whenever they treat us with love and support, we reply in annoyance?
My mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She is my best friend, my everything, and I literally would not be here without her.
Mom, if you're reading this (and I know you are because you obsess over my articles), thank you for being the best mother a girl could ask for. I know you think you've messed up, I know you think that you're a terrible mother, I know you down yourself so much. You are the perfect mother to me and my brothers. I love you more than words could ever describe.