I Devote A Lot Of Time To My Relationship And I'm Not Sorry

I Devote A Lot Of Time To My Relationship And I'm Not Sorry

No, it's not a bad thing. I promise.
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"You're young, you should focus on yourself."

"Serious relationships in college never work out."

"You're missing out on so many things by focusing so much on one person."

If I had a penny for every time someone had a comment to make about my relationship, I would be able to pay off my student loan debt. It seems as though everyone who isn't in a serious relationship in college has something to say to those who are. From people my age to people in their 40's or older, I've heard it all from every age group. Maybe it is because I am young and people tend to think that young relationships do not prosper or they hold young people back from their full potential. But why? Why do people believe that devoting time to someone you care about isn't healthy or is a "waste"?

I am currently in a long distance relationship and any of you who have ever experienced one know it takes a lot of effort. Between finding time to FaceTime among both of your busy schedules and planning when you will see each other next, it takes up a lot of your time. Relationships that aren't long distance take a lot of effort too. But what does being in college have to do with how serious your relationship should be or how it affects your life?

I still go out with friends and have a good time, I always make time for myself and doing things I enjoy such as working out or drawing, and I focus on my schoolwork and get good grades. But I also devote a good chunk of my time to my relationship and here is why: It makes me happy.

These days, it seems as though everyone has something to say when it comes to the things that make people happy. People have the mindset of, "Well, if it doesn't make ME happy, why do other people do it?" I devote a lot of time to my relationship because I love to. I love putting effort into something that I get a lot out of in return. Because I put in so much effort and devote so much time, I have a best friend who I can count on 100% of the time. He's there for me during my best and worst days, he makes me laugh when I want to cry, and running into his hugs every time I get to go home makes it all worth it. He's my best friend and so what if he's my boyfriend too?

I focus on myself, my health, my grades, my family, and everything else that needs attention in my life. But I also devote a lot of time to someone who means a lot to me. I don't "spend too much time" talking to my significant other or "get too caught up" in trying to make something I care about work. I put time and effort into the person I care about most and I don't regret it for a second.


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Stop Saying 'Love Is Love' And Then Shame Me For Dating A Republican

"How can you date a Republican?!" Quite easily, actually.

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"And love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love." Other theater geeks like me probably also remember this quote from Lin-Manuel Miranda's Tony acceptance speech in 2016. Now, thanks to Lin-Manuel and his talent for catchy phrases, every time someone says "love is love," all I can think of is Lin-Manuel's emphatic cry for equality.

This cry is one that I support wholeheartedly. I think that you should be allowed to love whomever you choose and that you should do so without fear of hatred or scrutiny. If you are a guy who loves guys, great. If you are a girl who loves girls, great. If you are a girl who loves guys and girls, great. You are born a certain way with certain sexual preferences, and there is nothing wrong with that.

However, if you believe that people should be free to love anyone they choose, then, honey, you better start looking past gender.

Let me tell you a little story.

Recently, I had a conversation with one of my closest friends about my boyfriend of almost 11 months. Somehow (and I'm shocked that this hadn't come up before), my boyfriend's political preferences became the topic of conversation.

The conversation went something like this:

"Wait, so is Tom a Democrat or Republican?"

"He's a Republican."

"WHAT?! Are you serious?"

"Yep."

"How can you date a Republican?"

After that, I basically went on a five-minute rant about how at the end of the day, his political preferences only make up a small fraction of who he is as a person and that I am not so shallow that I would be deterred by something this trivial.

At our cores, Tom and I value the exact same things: compassion, knowledge, kindness, dedication, honesty, respect, and above all else, love. Tom loves me unconditionally and I give him that same love in return; honestly, what else could I ask for?

Tom and I do get in some political arguments from time to time, but we also agree on those issues that are most important to me: female reproductive rights, marriage equality, and support for survivors of sexual assault. All of those things are non-negotiables for me, and Tom understands that and possesses his own list of non-negotiables.

Before you ask, yep, he voted for Trump. Did that take me back at first? Yes. Did I struggle to understand what would compel a person to vote for him? Absolutely. Did that thought kind of terrify me at first? Hell yes.

But you know what? After I just sat and listened to Tom's reasoning as to why he voted for him and watched him delve deep into Trump's policies, I could understand why some would vote for him. And to tell the truth, once I fell in love with Tom, none of that mattered anymore. And what is sad is that people so often fall so deep into their own echo chambers nowadays, that they wouldn't even give someone with different beliefs their ear. Well, I'm damn glad I did because Tom is the most amazing person I've ever met and I fall more in love with him every day.

So to tie this all together with a pretty little bow, if you're going to go around and preach that love is love and that everyone should be free to love whom they choose, then that shouldn't change for me. Maybe you're a Democrat that would never date a Republican or maybe you're a Republican who would never date a Democrat; that's your choice. But we don't get to choose who we fall in love with (much to the dismay of my liberal family and friends). Just keep an open mind and who knows? Maybe you could find some absolutely epic happiness.

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I Will Never Stop Dating My Husband

I will never stop trying to win him over.

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The two largest killers of a relationship are money and complacency. While we can't always keep money out of a relationship (especially a marriage), complacency is something that can be avoided.

I realized the dangers of complacency before I got married after my fiancé and I had been together for three years. The little things that used to be funny and cute became annoying. His once cute mannerisms in doing things a little slower than me quickly became annoying and irritating when we began working together.

I thought that one day our bad habit of fighting over little things and bickering would cease but it has only gotten worse over the years. The point is, things are going to be hard. You think that in getting more comfortable with one another, things get easier and that you may fight less. But this is a lie and you'll find that out soon.

You will find that the best thing to do in this situation is to never stop acting like you're trying to win over your significant over. By this, I mean that you should never feel complacent or "used to" your relationship or your significant other. Never stop doing the things that make them smile for no other reason than to see them smile. As life moves on, you may find these little things tedious and time-consuming, but doing those little things will save your relationship and save you from so many pointless fights.

I have been with my fiancé for nearly 4 years now but I will never stop trying to win him over. I will never stop getting butterflies when he asks me on a date and I will never push him away when he kisses me in the middle of a sentence.

I will never stop dating my fiancé, even when he becomes my husband. I will never stop trying to surprise him because those little things keep the spark in a relationship and will keep the spark in our marriage. Every relationship takes effort on both ends. As long as you're both trying to date each other no matter how long you've been together, your relationship will survive anything.

I will never stop trying to win him over even though I already have because I know the second that I do is the second that my relationship stops being 50/50. My relationship deserves my entire effort, heart, mind, and soul because my fiance deserves that.

My marriage deserves all that I can give it because the moment I become complacent and settle with less than what I deserve and less than what my fiance and relationship deserve, that is the moment my relationship will fail.

I will never stop dating my husband because he deserves better, and so do I.

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