Ever since kindergarten, I have liked boys. Embarrassingly enough, I can even remember the notable features of each boy I "liked" while growing up - averaging out to around one boy per year (hey, if he's not in my homeroom class, it's time for a change!). This recount of the influential crushes in my life has lead me to understand the development of my "taste" in guys today. Hopefully this will inspire others to reflect on their personal refinements in taste. 

(No individuals will be named -- to much disappointment). 

Kindergarten

He was blonde. He was chubby. The only thing that I really remember about this first contender was when he sneezed on my folder. Some people may call it nasty, but I like to call it the start of something new (that something new was probably a cold). 

First Grade

Sneezy was great fun and all, but I found my first true crush the following year. No longer naive to the boys of my elementary school, this year's crush was real. He had dark hair and dark eyes, and freckles that made me blush. I was only slightly disturbed when he would fall asleep in class and (somewhat impressively) fabricate a pond of drool that consumed his entire desk. 

Confession time: On the playground, he kissed a beam of the swing set -- I proceeded to kiss the same beam. I guess you could consider that my first kiss (kissing is the exchange of germs, correct?)

Second Grade:

He had dark skin and dark eyes, and may or may not have had an ear piercing. What is certain, however, is that I shared my first couple's skate to God Bless the USA with him. 

Third Grade:

He had brown hair. And again, another chubbster. I wore boots with a two-inch heel to school just for him. We would practice our multiplication flashcards together. It was kind of our thing. 

Fourth Grade:

Things changed this year. This year marked a pivotal point in my development. This year was the year of the "new kid." Straight from Pennsylvania, he was something new -- and it gained my interest. He had brown hair that he would gel forward to an upward flip in the front. He had dark eyes and flawless tanned skin. We would play together after school. It was no longer a crush -- what we had was young love. 

Fifth Grade:

I actually kept the same guy around for longer than one year (I'm telling you, it was love). We took our fifth grade field trip to Myrtle Beach. There, he bought a bottle of "Mars Mud" from a gift shop and gave me a piece of it (Mars Mud eventually hardens if kept in a plastic bag, possibly discovered years later when moving out for college...).

Sixth Grade:

Good things can't last forever. Mars Mud boy and I went our separate ways as school districts tore us apart. Oh well. Because middle school broadened my horizons. These boys were no longer boys - they were guys. He had the "surfer" style blonde hair, blue eyes, and would occasionally get mild nose bleeds during class (by occasionally, I mean quite often; and by mild, I mean resembling a crime scene). 

Seventh Grade:

Okay so I guess this was the year of my "first boyfriend." He had dark hair, blue eyes, and was pretty weird, I'll admit. We went to the movies once. My mom and my older brother were in the same theater. My brother proceeded to tell the guy to keep his hands off me. Awk.

Eighth Grade:

I termed this year "The Dark Ages." We need not delve into further explanation. 

Summer '09:

There was a tanned boy and a lake. A skater boy and Driver's Ed class. And a tall boy and slow dancing to Percy Sledge's When A Man Loves a Woman.

Freshman Year:

Just as my horizons broadened in the transition from elementary school to middle school, as did this larger transition. The guys were no longer guys - they were men (so I thought). For a time, I dated this blonde boy with blue eyes who wore Abercrombie and Fitch cologne. 

Summer '10:

There was a boy who wore a puka-shell necklace from South Carolina. His dad told him that all girls like Almond Joys. I don't like Almond Joys.

Sophomore Year:

There was a boy with long brown hair, puppy dog eyes, and ill-fitting jeans. He was awkward but funny, shy but sincere. And he became my "high school sweetheart."

Summer '11:

Boyfriend.

Junior Year:

Boyfriend.

Summer '12:

Boyfriend.

Senior Year:

...take a guess! Boyfriend.

Summer '13:

By this time, I had progressed through many stages in my life. I made it through the awkward stages. I graduated. I was headed off to college in just three months. But I couldn't make it to college without one last taste-test: senior beach week in Myrtle Beach. This summer was the definition of a "summer love." He was strong and had the singing voice of Josh Turner. And we fell head over heels for each other. Aww.

College:

Here is when I should disclose what my taste in men actually is. But upon coming to college, I have made one final realization: I have no taste in men. It is nearly impossible to define a single type - they're all the same while simultaneously being weird and different. You can never really understand them either because they're too dumb or too complex (some still exhibit the kindergarten trait of sneezing on me). With that being said, its time for wine and craft night with the girls!