Recently, it has come to my attention that I come off as "desperate" to other people in my life. Desperate for attention and desperate for a relationship. I thought about this for quite some time, bothered by the fact that people think I'm desperate because the truth is I don't feel desperate.

Desperate, by definition, means feeling, showing, or involving a hopeless sense that something is so bad that it is impossible to deal with.

I'm not desperate.

I am not desperate for attention, no matter who from. Do I like attention? Yes. Do I like being complimented by others? Definitely yes. But am I going out of my way to receive this desired attention because I feel like I cannot survive without it? No. Absolutely not.

I like attention because I'm insecure -- very insecure, actually. I get really down and hard on myself some days, and whenever I have someone paying attention to me, that makes it so much better. It makes me think about other things instead of my insecurities. It reassures me that I actually am a likable person and people actually do care about me, my feelings and what's going on in my life.

I am not desperate for a relationship either. At this point in my life, I have never had a long-lasting serious relationship. In fact, my longest relationship was a mere 3 months and that one ended HORRIBLY.

I see happy couples all around me and there are times when I feel like something is wrong with me because no one that I could ever possibly want to date, wants to date me as well. And maybe that's because I'm picky, but I'm allowed to be picky. I'm not going to settle for the first guy that falls into my lap or the first guy that pays attention to me. I have standards.

I'm not saying that I don't want a relationship. That is far from the truth. In my life right now, I want a relationship more than I have ever wanted a relationship. I want to be able to give someone my everything, spend any extra time I have with them and talk to them every day. I want to have someone that I wake up and go to sleep thinking about.

Someone that I don't have to worry about whether or not I'm bothering them by texting them because they actually want to talk to me and hold a conversation. I want both the good and the bad that comes with a relationship because that's what makes a relationship a real relationship.

I am not desperate to find this person. If I was desperate, I would be settling for anything and anyone that falls into my lap. Rather, I am very eager to find them. I give everyone chances and the benefit of the doubt, because even if that seems like a lot, I don't want to miss out on someone that could be great because I didn't initially give them the time of day.

I know my worth and I know that patience is key, so patient I will be. I will be on the lookout until I finally find that person. I try my best to not wear my heart on my sleeve, but at times that's really unavoidable. I know for sure that he is out there and the best is yet to come.

I know not to be discouraged when it doesn't work out with someone, because it just means that they're not the one. For now, I remain open and optimistic to anything that comes my way. So please, welcome.