Desolation
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Desolation

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Desolation
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Feeling is very important to me. I do what I feel right. If I cannot feel it, I cannot proceed smoothly.

This week made me exasperated. I was completely thrown. This week was the end mid-term. I have three papers due at the same time. On the other hand, I have two exams which I have not started reviewing for. When I check my books, I am missing some papers. I began to feel upset and emotional. I told myself that I do not have time for non-sense. I sat on my table and put my thought into studying. But I do not feel good.

I started blaming myself that I should have done things in advance and on time.

Then I realized it was better to stay positive in every aspect as possible. First, I organized my priorities. I gathered my calendar book and started writing important lists to do. The lists are longer than I thought they would be.

I keep myself busy, but the room is quiet and echoing with my movement. I get up and walk pass the hall to the restroom. I wash my face and take a deep breath. The mirror in front of me is the reflection of myself. But I feel like I do not know him. Who is this person? Who is this failure? Someone walks up to the restroom door and startled, I leave.

I go to my room and start typing a few words for the paper. Suddenly, words come out of nowhere from my mind and I keep on typing. I feel good about what I am doing for the first time. I wish It would last forever. Step by step, I cross off the checklist and call it a night. I went to my bed peacefully.

Suddenly, I hear the vibrating tone of my phone. I look around for my phone but it is not beside me. I realize that I was in bed and my phone was on the study table. I slept the night without finishing the papers. I was dreaming all along. What have I done!

I got up from the bed. Feeling more furious than ever. I brushed my teeth and washed my face. I pick up my backpack and went to the Cafeteria. Even though I feel nothing, I go straight to class and talk with the professor.

That day was crazier than ever.

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