"It's a voice that whispers my name
It's a kiss without any shame
Something beautiful, yeah, yeah
Like a song that stirs in my head
Singing love will take us where
Something's beautiful"
- Something Beautiful, Newsboys
Okay, I'd figured out that I already had something beautiful. So did that mean I just gave up on my deepest longings?
Um, no.
See, here's the thing. The next song on the list was by the Newsboys, and it described - IN DETAIL - everything I'd ever wanted.
There's nothing wrong with that. But something is always there, telling me that there is. So I tamp it down. "You're only twenty. There's so much time." "There's so much more to life." "Be content with your lot."
I acknowledge the truth of all these statements. And I try my best to remember them. But doing so sometimes makes me ashamed of this desire that is so deeply ingrained into my being. I feel sometimes that by longing for something different, I am letting it become an idol - even when it doesn't dominate my waking days.
So I took a look at this song.
"I wanna start it over
I wanna start again
I want a new beginning
One without an end"
Moving on. So, it's established that I want something. More than anything, I want something that's different than what I've had before - lasting and concrete.
"I feel it inside
Calling out to me"
Hold the phone. Could it be that God planted this desire inside me?
Actually, yes. Believe it or not, we always long for something more, because God created us for just that. And anything that brings us closer to His original intent for us is placed there by Him from the time we are infants.
"It's a voice that whispers my name
It's a kiss without any shame
Something beautiful, yeah, yeah
Like a song that stirs in my head
Singing love will take us where
Something's beautiful"
Take a good look at that little niggling in your chest that I'm sure is being stirred right now. What is the desire of your heart? God sees that and rubs His hands together. Seriously, go read Ephesians 3:20. He created us for beautiful things. And He wants to give them.
(Also, if you want my dissertation on delighting yourself in the Lord, here's an article from a few months ago. Check it out.)
"I've heard it in the silence
Seen it on a face
I've felt it in a long hour
Like a sweet embrace"
Whatever it is, I guarantee you're not the only one who wants it. The desire for something beautiful is there in every single person you see. It looks different for all of them - some, it's a fulfilling career, others, a stable marriage, while still others just want some vague semblance of security. You are not alone. And what is more acceptable than something that everyone has in common?
"I know this is true
It's calling out to me"
This is all specifically I have on the lyrics of the song - although I will be posting the rest of them. But here's the rest of my thoughts.
Look, that desire that you have going on inside you right now: It is not a bad thing. If you let it begin to control your every move, it could be, but as it is, there is nothing wrong with longing for something.
I want to serve God with my life and future career.
I want to change the lives of my fellow women by advocating on their behalf.
I want to be in a strong, godly marriage.
I want at least three little people running around my house. Maybe four.
And yes, if you could throw two cats and a dog named Sulu, Chekov, and Scotty into that mix, I would not complain.
I've always been very future-minded. There's nothing wrong with that. And I've learned to not let my desires for the future control what I do now, because the great majority of them are beyond my control.
But their existence isn't a bad thing. It's God-ordained.
And the day I accepted that was the day I started moving toward them.
"It's a voice that whispers my name
It's a kiss without any shame
Something beautiful
Like a song that stirs in my head
Singing love will take us where
Something's beautiful
It's the child on her wedding day
It's the daddy that gives her away
Something beautiful
When we laugh so hard we cry
It's the love between you and I
Something beautiful"
(Catch installment three next week, in which I analyze the Steven Curtis Chapman song.)
