Recently I have been struggling. May wasn't really my best month. It may have looked great according to my post's on social media, but my feeling inside doesn't show in my writing. A couple weeks ago, I was sitting on the couch with not the best mood but then God showed me, why I been feeling this way. You see I didn't really want to come back to California. I wanted to stay in Arizona and do summer classes at Grand Canyon University but God had other plans for me instead. His way was for me to come back to my hometown in California. At first, it was hard for me as I was depressed because I missed the GCU atmosphere. I missed the amazing people that God has surrounded me with. But each and every day God has been showing me why he wanted me home.
God called me back so I could join a bowling league at Mchenry Bowl with my brother. It has been wonderful since they have given us free bowling coupons for us to use each day. I have also been able to reconnect with people who I used to bowl with. I even have made some new friends there.
I have also thought that after high school I wouldn't see a lot of the people who I was friends with. I reconnected with an old friend of mine and we decided to meet up with some old friends for pizza. They were really surprised to see me since some of them I haven't seen since graduation.
Sometimes God likes to surprise us. A couple weeks ago I had dinner with my small group leader from high school ministry. We were talking about the different ministry that the church that I used to go to has to offer. For a while, I was disappointed with that church. You see I applied to be an intern for the summer. I thought for sure that I was going to get hired. God had other plans instead. My small group leader is involved in a celebrate recovery ministry at that church. I felt God calling me to be her co-leader. The first time I went I immediately knew that God wanted for me to do ministry there.
God knows what is best for us even if we don't always agree with it right away. I have also discovered something, why do you think that a lot of people especially women struggle with depression? I have come to realize its because of social media. I used to compare my life to other people and It messed me up. It kept me away from friends, church, and even bowling. None of our lives are perfect, but we are living the life that God has given us. Be thankful for the people and places that God takes you. Even if it doesn't look good on your social media accounts.
One final note. Tell other people to pray for you during your times of struggles. It has helped a lot, to know that people are praying for you on a daily basis.
This verse has helped me a lot lately and I hope it hopes you also. "Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God." Philippians 4:6
