For many reasons, children grow up without father figures. It is estimated that 43 percent of children live without their father, whether it be from circumstances in which a father has abandoned the family, a mother has chosen to have children alone, or the death of a father. According to multiple sources, this shocking statistic leads to the demise of our youth. Losing my father at a young age, as I conducted research for this article, I began to reflect on my own life. Sitting in the library at my university, the numbers staring back at me predict me to be elsewhere. I, as a fatherless child, am expected to be sitting in jail or at home right now with a child. It is reported that 71 percent of high school dropouts are fatherless; fatherless children have more trouble academically, scoring poorly on tests of reading, mathematics, and critical thinking skills; children from father-absent homes are more likely to be truant from school, more likely to be excluded from school, more likely to leave school at age 16, and less likely to attain academic and professional qualifications in adulthood [Edward Kruk, Ph.D., “The Vital Importance of Paternal Presence in Children’s Lives.” May 23, 2012]. Fatherless girls are especially at risk for social and behavioral dysfunction as a result of the disconnect from their fathers. Along with all of the aforementioned statistics, daddyless daughters are at an increased risk to become pregnant at a young age, with 71 percent of pregnant teenagers lacking a father [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999].
Why does all of this matter? It is clear that there are tangible harmful effects on children due to the absence of one-half of the parental structure. The expectations of these young kids remain low, and we continually see the stereotypes perpetrated in our society. In movies and television, we see that the nuclear family is the only way to find success, in the forms of emotional stability, academic achievement, and financial abundance. In school we are excluded from certain subjects revolving around our dads or their jobs or simply just discussions of our ‘parents.’ Our teachers are not equipped to handle our increased emotional needs and thus attribute our acting out to the fact that we must be bad, misbehaved kids. They figure that we will stay this way, that we will just be the ‘trouble’ children that have no potential in an academic setting. Unfortunately, I have had teachers who view me like this, who do not understand how to handle me or my bouts of sadness and anger in class. I know my brother has dealt with this, too, as have many other fatherless children. On the flip side, I have also had teachers who tried to understand, who went out of their way to try to understand why I was crying in the middle of class or why I was suddenly silent and withdrawn as the other kids crafted their father's day cards or dads spoke in class during career days or simply when I was just having a bad day. I want to thank those teachers for not giving up on me, and I want it to be known that fatherless kids everywhere can and will succeed. Teachers did not give up on me, and I have defied what is expected of me. I am a freshman at one of the top universities in the nation. I am a writer at one of the best online journals for college students. I am healthy and most of all, happy where I am. So, teachers, please don’t give up on kids like me. We can amount to so much greatness in the future if only you take the time to understand our special circumstances.
