This topic is so dear to me. It is so raw and vulnerable.
When you live in a small town, every body knows your business or wants to know your business. So, of course, I always get asked about my relationship. SO. MANY. QUESTIONS. "How long have y'all been dating?" "How long have y'all known each other?" "How did y'all start dating?" (that's definitely the most awkward question, but that's a different story lol) "Where does he go to school?" I know what follows after I answer this question. It's usually a comment about how far away that it is from me,but that's not what stands out the most to me.
It's the look they give me when they realize that I am in a long distance relationship. They quickly lose the smile that stayed on their face during the earlier part of the conversation. That smile told me that they were excited for me and it brought joy to them knowing that I found someone that makes me happy. So why does that smile disappear when they realize that there is distance involved? That smile changes to the same expression. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Their smile almost turns into a frown and the light in their eyes quickly turns dim. I quickly realized that these people feel bad for me. Some even pity me.
Why? This seriously bothers me.
I usually just smile and tell them that it's great. They give me a questioning look, so I usually either change the conversation or end it.
But here's what I really want to tell them.
No, long distance relationships are not easy.
No, long distance relationships are not for everyone.
Long distance relationships are definitely not for the faint of heart.
But I made a choice and so did my boyfriend. We knew what we were getting ourselves into. We knew that things were not always going to be easy, but we knew that we wanted to be together. Believe me, we didn't take this decision lightly. If you would have told me a year ago that I would be in a long distance relationship (especially with the person that I am in one with), I would have told you that you are crazy. We prayed and we prayed A LOT. The Lord gave us our answer, so we dove right in.
Our relationship is made up of texts, Snapchat, phone calls, and long Facetime dates. In today's world, it is so easy to stay connected with each other. We absolutely love finding new ways to make our relationship exciting even from 250 miles apart. Often times, these ways do include technology. We are constantly sending each other things off of social media that we think are funny, express our feelings, or just remind us of each other. One of my favorite things is we often express our feelings to each other through the music we listen to. We are constantly telling each other to listen to a song that we stumbled upon.
But only being able to communicate over technology has tested us in ways that we didn't know was possible. Do you realize how easy it is to read a text wrong? We quickly realized that we had to know how to properly communicate.
In any relationship, there has to be give and take. But there has to be A LOT of it in a long distance relationship. You have to make sure that you make time for each other. That can be a lot harder than it sounds especially when you're in two different time zones. Ours is only an hour difference, but that is a big difference when one of us is doing something and the other is ready for bed.
We have to be selfless and make a lot of sacrifices. There are nights when we know that our relationship is more important than other things that we could be doing. We also have to willing to tell the other person what we need from the relationship. Whether it's a trip to see each other or coming home early to be able to talk to each other.
When you're hours away from each other, it's really hard to find ways to comfort each other. The worst feeling in the world is knowing that one of you is hurting and you can't physically be there for them. In that moment you feel helpless.
There are days that are so hard. These days are miserable. I literally miss everything about him. These days can range from being away from him for weeks or only a few days. The hardest days are when we have to leave each other.
We spend weeks a part and then have just a few days together.
Goodbyes are absolutely the worst.
But hellos are the absolute best.
Those are all of the reasons why long distance relationships are not for everyone and they are definitely not for the faint of heart.
But here are the reasons you should not feel bad for me and you definitely should not pity me.
Because The Lord has been faithful to us through our relationship. He has shaped us into better people through our relationship and he has shown us how to love each other in a way that brings each other closer to Christ.
Because each date is as exciting as the first.
We don't get to spend a lot of time together,but when we do it's like we never were apart.
Because as soon as we part we count down the days until we see each other again.
Because we look forward to each phone call, text, Snapchat, and Facetime date. We look forward to endless laughs and giggles.
Our moments together are far more precious than if we were close together. We have learned to not take our time together for granted ,but to cherish every second of it.
Whoever said that "distance makes the heart grow fonder" was totally right.
To be in a long distance relationship you must be brave and bold. You must be willing to fight for the things and people you love. If a relationship can withstand distance, it can withstand anything. In today's world, people give up when things get hard. The day the distance gap is closed we will be able to look at our relationship from a perspective that most will not get to experience. We will be able to look at each other and say that we did not give up.
So do not feel bad for me, dear. And definitely, do not pity me.
Because my relationship is beautiful.
