A Definitive Ranking Of Girl Scout Cookies

Girl Scout cookies are a cornerstone of the American experience. Nothing is more American than supporting your local Girl Scout troop by stuffing your face with factory produced pastries. Nothing. Not even apple pie. Don't even come at me with the Keebler imitations because you might as well slap an eight year old girl in the face for not supporting her dreams. Anyway, without further ranting, here is your definitive ranking of Girl Scout cookies.

8. Trefoils

Maybe it's because I was a fat kid, but I've never liked plain desserts. Why have boring shortbread when all the other cookies have chocolate, peanut butter, or other sugary add-ons? Don't get me wrong, shortbread is okay. Just okay. Never trust someone who says their favorite type of cookie is shortbread. Their favorite color is also probably grey.

7. Toffee-Tastic

Okay the fact that one box one contains one sleeve is already a point against them. Girl Scout cookies ain't cheap. I mean toffee is okay, but everyone knows it lives in the shadow of caramel. "Okay" doesn't cut it in this fierce competition.

6. Savannah Smiles

The Girl Scouts came out with like 5 different lemon flavored cookies for some reason and this one is still being sold. The texture is super weird. Is it crunchy? Creamy? Both? Why is a cookie making me so confused? At least it's as refreshing as a cookie drowning in powered sugar can be.

5. Girl Scout S'mores

I love s'mores. I love cookies. Enough said. Sandwich cookies are on another level, and this cookie brings it.

4. Do-si-dos

Peanut butter is easily mankind's greatest invention. And a cookie sandwich for is even better. Oatmeal cookies? Genius. Fun name? Also genius.

3. Tagalongs

MORE PEANUT BUTTER. Edges out Do-si-dos because of the chocolate. That being said, it's almost too sweet. Like if I'll get sick if I have more than two. Still amazing and reminds me of a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

2. Thin Mints

The mint and chocolate combination is mankind's second greatest invention. Numbers don't lie, and they're the most popular Girl Scout cookie with a whopping quarter of all Girl Scout cookie sales. The only drawback is that they're so thin, you can quaff a box in no time. Have them frozen.

1. Samoas

The GOAT. Caramel, chocolate, and coconut can't be beat. The Girl Scouts were trendy before people insisted on eating straight coconut oil and having coconut water run through their veins. Sorry Becky from pilates class, The Girl Scouts beat you with a delicious cookie.