While I’ve always been aware of the ridicule women receive for what we choose to wear, it wasn’t until I saw a Facebook status, in which the individual told girls to “have some self-respect” with the way they dress, that I saw the real issue regarding this topic. I am somebody who loves wearing shorts, short dresses and tight jeans; I own a decent number of crop-tops, some low-cut shirts and I am a huge fan of leggings. I dress in a way that makes me feel confident, happy and comfortable with my body. When I put on whatever I’m wearing on any given day I am dressing for myself, not for anybody else. To me, this is self-respect.

Beyond my casual wardrobe, I understand the importance of professionalism, knowing how to dress for work or a specific event is not something I take lightly; dress codes (within reason) do have a place. However, in cases like this, I’ve seen women wearing ill-fitting t-shirts given more slack on dress code than women wearing tops that are considered low-cut. This is a standard that will never make sense to me, one that is unfair, and one that should not be overlooked. This being said, most instances of wardrobe judgement don’t occur in places with dress codes, but rather just in our day-to-day lives.

For years I’ve heard girls being told to cover themselves up, that modesty is best, etc., etc., and by no means am I saying that modesty in itself is a bad thing, if that is your choice, but why should that be the automatic standard? We are taught from such a young age that girls who cover themselves are “good girls” and those that don’t are “bad girls.” Why does what I choose to wear have to be some character defining image? People assume that our clothes give insight into who we are, and in some ways this is true, however, this insight that we think we have is, at this point, completely based on stereotypes and assumptions.

Now, most importantly, the matter of self-respect. This is one hundred percent defined by you. Self-respect is not universally defined by a standard of dress, action, or speech. The thing about self-respect is that it is both from yourself and for yourself; it doesn’t matter if someone else can’t see it. Self-respect is your own decision and can only be defined for oneself. So dress however the hell makes you feel comfortable and makes you respect yourself. If you feel as though it is so important that based on what I wear, you cannot respect me, I could not care any less, but don’t you dare tell me that I do not respect myself.