In my experience, loneliness comes in forms. It can be cutting: slicing itself deeper and deeper into your being and self-worth.
It can be burning: searing holes into judgment and understanding. And it can be vacant: imbedding emptiness into your thoughts until they become nothing but forgotten ideas. Loneliness can hurt, but, as I hope to outline in this piece, it can also be a guiding and warm force.
I first want to acknowledge that I have no more authority on this topic than any other living, breathing person, but, since I am privileged enough to have an outlet through which I can distribute my opinions, I find it prudent that I do so.
Perhaps it is best to differentiate loneliness from being alone. In this piece, I will not be defending isolation, but rather the emotional response to that isolation. The benefits of privacy have long been touted, but rarely have those of loneliness been introduced into the limelight.
As I described earlier, I believe loneliness can manifest in unique and distinguishable ways. And though I stand by this statement, at times, their forms can become mangled and tinted, much like the blending of paints on some self-destroying palette. So, though a delve into the various kinds of loneliness would no doubt result in interesting finds, I believe the uncertain and unquantifiable nature of loneliness would lead to some impassable obstacles on this pursuit. Instead, I believe it is much easier to understand the sources of loneliness.
Though every cause I mention is universal, perhaps the one which permeates most frequently is that of loss. Loss of love, loss of friendship, loss of life. And though some of these losses do not inherently remain permanent, their temporality strips nothing from their impact. Loss manifests externally as some physical vacancy and mirrors itself internally as a conceptual representation of emptiness; filling one's mind with the viscous slag of nonsensical nonexistence. Both are real and vital aspects key to understanding the concept as an unbroken entity, but once the initial emptiness has been allowed to settle, once one has allowed themselves to wallow in that vacuity, that void becomes something more than a piercing nothing. It becomes a place in which self-reflection grows clear. In a mindset defined by the absence of everything but one's self, one's being becomes ever more prevalent. This augmentation of self-acknowledgement, regardless of being sparked by what may amount to be self-pity, encourages one to reflect upon the thoughts, aspirations, decisions, and perspectives which manifest as a result of previous action. This introspective state leads to, at the very least, a reevaluation of one's priorities and, at the very most, a complete change in one's lifestyle, both of which are likely to result in positive change. As banal and cliché as it may sound, I believe external loss can eventually, after a period of strain and grief, result in an internal gain of self-understanding.
Beyond loss, sources of loneliness begin to splinter. Self-seclusion, be it voluntary or not, pushes the world further from one's self and leaves the mind to wander free of external interference. Universal contemplation overwhelms and often forces the ideas of loneliness on a personal scale and insignificance on a species wide scale to juxtapose each other in the mind of some stargazing soul. Mental ailments can directly cause loneliness by altering neurotransmitter processes or indirectly cause it through pushing people away due to the stigmas attached to them. While each of these causes, and more unmentioned ones, deserve personalized in-depth analyzations, I unfortunately do not have the time to explore every facet of loneliness.
Whatever the cause may be, I urge you to attempt to find the benefits. They are there. They will rear their heads in time. But for moments when the gloom and dread drown you in sorrow, do not feel shame in embracing sadness. Revel in your unhappiness, but do not let it become you. Hold it at arms-length until introspection gives you the strength to momentarily rid yourself of it. Loneliness is not a benevolent or malevolent force. It is an abusive, exhausting beast, but there are moments of respite within the mauling of loneliness that lets you see how beautiful this beast can be.
There are missing pieces in this argument; holes saturate my explanation, but it's a start. Fragments of thoughts litter the landscape of my reasoning, but I urge you to attempt to make sense of my ramblings. For we may find our shared loneliness a fine reverie in which to bask.
