A lot of us associate Memorial Day with red, white, and blue decorations, American flags, picnics, and potlucks with patriotic desserts found on Pinterest. It is a holiday that celebrates the freedom in America, but we often forget the origins of the holiday: to remember those who died while fighting for America. I think that idea is often in the back of peoples’ minds, but for those who have lost loved ones in combat it is in the forefront. Gratitude for the soldiers’ sacrifice comes easier because they are connected with the holiday in a personal way. But for those of us who haven’t experienced that pain, we can get too caught up in the celebration and disregard the “Memorial” aspect.
Memorial Day began in 1868 after the American Civil War, and it was known as “Decoration Day” because people, often wives of the deceased soldiers, decorated the graves with flowers to commemorate the 600,000+ soldiers who died in the war. This tradition continues in local and national cemeteries, such as Arlington National Cemetery, which has more than 400,000 graves of fallen soldiers and Americans. For those who have not been there, or are not familiar with Arlington, the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier is an elaborate stone tomb housing the body of an unidentified soldier who died in World War I. The grave is guarded 24 hours every day. On the front of the tomb it reads, “Here rests in honored glory an American soldier known but to God.” Every life matters, even the ones that are unrecognized.
So, as an American who experiences the hard-earned freedom that these soldiers fought and died for, what is a proper response on a day set aside to commemorate them? Often, the only recognition we give is a short mention of them in the prayer before we stuff our faces with food we spent all day to make. I have nothing against these patriotic parties, but when it is the focus of our Memorial Day, it oversteps the soldiers’ deserved recognition and just becomes another excuse to party.
There are several things we can do to combine celebration with gratitude in remembering.
1. Decorating graves
This tradition not only respects the soldiers’ lives, but it also brings recognition to our nation’s history and the past lives of those who sacrificed for our freedom. Whether we knew them or not, whether we loved them or not, we owe them at least this gesture of recognition.
2. Visiting Memorials
I went to the War Memorial in Washington D.C. where names of the soldiers that served our country are engraved in a wall in seemingly endless columns and rows. It is a humbling experience to walk along the wall, glancing over the names of people, knowing they were loved and cherished by wives, husbands, children, parents, and friends, but chose to risk their lives to protect their loved ones. There is no greater love than this.
3. Flying the flag half mast until noon
This is a sign of respect for the dead and is usually done when a city loses one of its own in battle. Having flags all across the country flying half mast would be an unspoken proclamation of our gratitude and appreciation.
4. Participating in “National Moment of Remembrance” at 3 p.m.
I wasn’t aware of this tradition, but at 3 p.m. it is encouraged by the government that the entire nation takes a minute of silence to remember the dead. This establishes a national unity as we honor those who died in service.
5. Aid the widows, widowers, and orphans
If we manage to remember those who died, we often forget those they left behind. They are in need of love and support, so if you have the opportunity to reach out to any of these people, it would be an encouragement to them and a tribute to their deceased loved ones.
6. Thanking soldiers and veterans This seems like such a simple thing to do, but it can demonstrate our respect for how they serve the country in this way and the sacrifice they are making.
So as you celebrate today, also remember and honor those who died so that we can live in a free country without fearing for our safety. We are indebted to them, and they deserve our deepest gratitude.
