If you are anything like me, relationships have been a part of life from middle school onward. Since then, I have unknowingly jumped from relationship to relationship without thoroughly thinking about it. I never thought that I needed a boyfriend, but after my last breakup, I realize I have never truly spent any time alone.
This realization was scary, yet enlightening. I started to wonder if I was even capable of remaining independent. But after the advice of some amazingly supportive friends and my parents who supported me through every heartbreak (thank you guys), I came to look forward to discovering myself more and exploring the perks of the single life.
The most obvious perk of remaining single is freedom. No more planning days around what someone else wants to do or sacrificing something your significant other isn't interested in. The way this freedom manifested itself when I became single again was the ability to reclaim my weekends. I could have a lazy day, homework day or party day, all depending on what I wanted that day. I had more time to do things I wanted to do, and found myself more relaxed because I felt more in control. The funny thing is, I never realized I missed my weekends until after my breakup. Sometimes becoming single can shed light on the things you never knew you needed. I am staying single because I need to focus on myself right now and figure out my identity without the interference of caring for someone else too.
In conjunction with the ability of self-orienting your extra free time, you soon spend more time with friends you almost never got to see. For me, I devoted so much of my free time to one person. When my friends came to comfort me after my breakup, I realized how much I loved, appreciated and needed them in my life. Yes, spending a lot of time with someone you miss and love the most is amazing, but you need balance in your life. Spending time with numerous groups and people allows you to appreciate everyone more and not become bored of them (which can happen unnoticeably). I am staying single because I want to share my love with everyone in my life. I need to learn how to balance my relationships before I jump into any more commitments.
More free time means paying attention to your desires and needs more often. It also signifies learning how to pick yourself up again. I realized I let others determine how I should feel. I let myself feel incomplete and inadequate because someone else was not there with me. Learning how to take care of yourself is not only important for you, but it also is vital for healthy relationships. I am staying single because I need to learn to become independent.
Lastly, I am staying single because I need to discover what I want in a life partner, and I cannot do that until I discover what I want in life. I need to explore the world around me and do spontaneous things. I want to determine what I like and do not like for myself; I do not want someone to dictate my boundaries and opinions so that they match theirs’. I do not want the "almost married" life yet. I realize I should not rush to settle down. I want to flirt, party, and take random adventures, leaving me exhausted yet smiling ear to ear. But mostly, I am staying single because there is a lot in the world I have yet to discover, and there is a lot more to life than settling down. I can always settle down later, but right now, it is me time.
