I am a child of divorce. My parents got divorced when I was in 5th grade, and when I was 10 or 11 (or however old I was), I couldn’t understand why my dad was moving away. This meant that I had to be in two places for holidays, and that was always stressful and tiring for me. So when I got older (basically in the most recent years) I finally decided that I was only going to spend my holidays with the people who were treating me right. This was an important and defining moment in my life because I finally realized that how I felt and how I was going to be treated was more important than making my family happy.
Spending time with one side of my family is extremely awkward for me. I don’t think that they understand my sexuality or my life choices very well. They also see my relationship with one of my parents in action, which is not very healthy, and it makes them uncomfortable when we get into disagreements. I finally decided that last year I wasn’t going to take it anymore, what with my parent and I not getting along and feeling awkward enough at family events, and I said that I was going to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with the other side of the family.
The other side of my family seems to understand and accept me for who I am, and I am truly grateful for that. They know of my sexuality and praised me for coming out, and know how my schooling is going and understand that it is tough and sometimes you hit roadblocks. They understand that my choices are my own and they encourage me to make my own decisions while bearing in mind what the consequences of them are. This side of the family is where I feel like I am being treated right. This is where I feel most loved. Therefore, this is where I feel like I should be going to for the holidays.
This article is in no way slamming the other side of my family. I love both sides equally and love them very, very much. However, there comes a time in everyone’s life when they have to make a decision between family life and their own personal life. I have decided to take my life into my own hands and make decisions that will benefit me, so that I can continue to grow and succeed in my life. When I think about family, I think about creating my own family, and expanding the family tree that already exists. I think about sending Christmas cards and keeping connected via social media. I want my kids to know who their great-great grandparents are and were, and I want them to meet their cousins. My life will forever be connected to both sides of my family. However, I’m becoming an adult, and I need to start focusing on how I am going to grow up so that I know how to raise my children whenever I have my own family, that I can graciously and happily add to the rest of my gigantic and loving family.
