Being a fan of a college football team that isn't ranked means two things:
1. You lose a lot which obviously is terrible.
2. You face the 12:00 p.m. home games every single weekend.
There is nothing worse on this god given planet than the 12:00 p.m. game, and that's just a fact. For all the college fans lucky enough to receive late nationally televised games, let me clue you in on just how lucky you are. I'll take you on a walk through of what it's like for the unfortunate few who suffer through this weekend nightmare.
It's Wednesday, and football is on your mind. You bleed your school colors, but unfortunately you know there is a good chance you're going to lose on Saturday. Your football team has been inconsistent lately and you really thought that this year was going to be the year they made it big. But sure enough, your hopes are crushed by week three as they are just the same old program as always. You contemplate if going to the game is even worth it, and think about selling your ticket...but then you remind yourself how rowdy and fun the student section is.
Friday rolls around. You're starting to get invited to tailgates that start at 7 a.m. on Saturday. Yes, 7 a.m. Now you have to make the decision if you're going to go out tonight, because there is no way that if you go out, you're waking up early enough to make that starting tailgate time. You realize that the thought of not going out on a Friday night during college is absurd, and you'll set your alarm for 9 a.m. the next day. This time is not too early, but not too late, and leaves you an ample amount of time to tailgate.
As always, your Friday night gets wild. It is Friday after all. Before you know it your cellphone buzzes to wake you up on Saturday morning. "You've got to be kidding me," you think to yourself as you turn your alarm off and roll over to go back to sleep. Twenty minutes later, your best friends are forcibly removing you from your bed. Groggy (and with a painful headache) you throw on your school colors and head on over to the tailgate.
Ashamed to call yourself a true fan as you arrive at the tailgate at 10:00 a.m., three hours after it started, you're surprised to see no one else is really there, because everyone else is probably still sleeping off their Friday night. Not thinking too much into it, you grab your drink and some food, and now another big decision has to be made. All of the people that have been at the tailgate since 7 a.m. are on a entirely different level then you. So you either decide to play catch up, which always ends poorly, or decide to go to the game as a sober-Sally.
It's now 10:30 a.m., and you only have an hour left until everyone starts walking towards the stadium. Obviously, you decide to play catch up. Unfortunately, the people hosting the tailgate didn't buy enough drinks as they knew it wasn't going to be a big turn out for a 7 a.m. tailgate, so you're just left feeling hydrated, with nothing more than a full stomach.
11:30 a.m. It's time to walk to the game. People are pumped up. You get to your seats. You realize half the stadium is empty...It's hard to fill a stadium when you have a losing record. You shake off the negativity as your school spirit gets the best of you and you go wild as your team comes running into the stadium.
First quarter. You're team is already down 10-0. You start to lose focus on the game and realize how hot that sun is beating straight down on you. Because it's a noon game there is no shade to be seen. You hang in there though.
Halftime. 21-3. You're hot, your hangover is starting to hit you even harder, you're tired of losing, and you're overall just miserable. It's time to get home. Unfortunately, all the roads to the stadium are closed off, all your friends are either asleep, or drunk and can't drive. So you end up having to walk all the way home.
You get home, turn on the TV your team is still losing 28-10 with a few minutes left in the third quarter. You plop on your couch to watch the end of the game. Before you know it, you're passed out and don't wake up till 8pm. In a daze, you gather yourself and figure out the final score. A whopping 28-17 loss. Which only means one thing: another noon game next weekend, to repeat the same process.