Less than a year ago, I lost one of my best friends in a tragic car accident. The experience changed me and made me realize that time is short, and youth is not a guarantee of a long life. It was a difficult process to cope with the loss of a great friend, but I am a better person and I have stronger relationships with my friends after her loss.
1. Life is short.
Yes, this is a cliché, but sometimes clichés are repeated because they are true. She died at the age of 19. There is no guarantee that anyone will even live until tomorrow.
Many young people sacrifice their youth for the promise of a prosperous and secure future, but we can never get time back once it's gone; it's the same with people. We are young and can live each day only once. Respect yourself enough that you value and find joy in each and every day of your life.
2. Vulnerability leads to scars and smiles.
Yes, being close to people and loving them opens up chances to get hurt, but also offers opportunities to be loved and make others happy. If I had never met her, I wouldn’t have lost her, but I also would not have experienced a great friendship, and we both would have missed out on some great jokes.
3. You never really forget.
I wish she were still here, still at school, still going to pick up the phone when I call. But now that I have accepted she is gone from my life, I am at peace with it all. I still think about her often and consider her a friend, and I don't think that will ever change. The loss of someone important never really heals, it just becomes manageable.
4. Her death made me closer to my friends.
My close group of friends, despite losing her, became closer, and I can’t imagine life without them. It still hurts to hang out in our old friend group with the mutual but silent recognition that we all miss her, yet that mutual loss binds us closer.
5. I have learned to be more selfless.
I regretted not spending more time with her. I should have called her more often, but I was too absorbed in my own life to put more into our friendship. Relationships between any two people require time, effort, and self-sacrifice. My regret and new realization that relationships are a priority made me focus more energy on other people and less on myself. I am happy investing much more time and effort into my current relationships with friends and family because I feel it has a greater worth than it used to.
6. How to deal with sadness.
When I first found found out about her death, the heartbreak and loss I felt consumed me and it made my friends sad. They were incredible at helping me cope with the initial shock, but I had to learn how to deal with the situation in a way that did not make others sad for me nor pity me. This was an important lesson for me to learn: how to deal with trauma but not let it consume me, nor make me feel guilty for being happy sometimes.
