To White Allies Who Claim They Are Incapable Of Racism, Think Again

To White Allies Who Claim They Are Incapable Of Racism, Think Again

Recognize your racism, correct it, and move on.
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I am very white. I am very liberal. And I am also racist. I have grown up seeing the media misrepresent people of color as gross stereotypes that oppressed them. I’ve been taught by the school system that white people have contributed more to society than people of color. Even at a young age, I’ve held personal prejudices against people of color based on what I was taught by friends and family and even teachers. Am I proud of this? Absolutely not.

Before we begin, I want to clarify a few things. First, this article is not justifying racism. Racism is not acceptable period. Second, this article is not about how I’m okay with being racist. Third, this article is about people who are racist but deny that they are racist. White liberals, I’m looking at you.

As a white liberal, you might feel personally attacked, and my response to that is to just take a moment to hear me out. The most important thing to define is what exactly racism is. According to Oxford Dictionary, racism is “prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior.” While in theory, this definition implies that any race can be racist towards any race, we need to consider the concept of institutionalized racism.

Ever since the Age of Exploration in Europe, through the Slave Trade, and the murder of thousands of Natives in America, to the exploitation of Chinese immigrant workers and Hispanic/Latino workers, to the segregation of Black men and women in the south, to the imprisonment of Japanese Americans- I haven’t even covered a measurable percentage of the atrocities that have been committed- white people have benefitted from the oppression of people of color through centuries of holocausts and enslavement from governmental institutions in the United States.

While you are white and may want to consider yourself an ally for people of color, you must understand that even though you know racism is wrong, you are still capable of it. We were raised in a society that promotes this kind of inequality whether it be intentional or accidental. Being in denial of your racism won’t help the problem.

I will have racist thoughts from time to time. I will say something that is not at all okay. But I recognize what I said, did or thought. I evaluate why I said, did or thought that thing. Then I correct myself. If a person of color calls me out or calls something out as racist, I listen to them. They know racism more than I do and have experienced racism on levels that I will never be able to understand.

I know sometimes it can be scary to admit to being racist. You might think we live in a society that will call out and attack racists, but you have to understand that anything that you experience from admitting your racism and ignorance is nothing compared to the hundreds of years of suffering the ancestors of people of color have experienced. It won’t compare to the hardships a person of color could experience due to race. Or the fear a terrible ally can provoke. Imagine a person you trust doesn’t want to listen to you when you tell them, “Hey that thing you said about me and people who look like me is pretty awful. Don’t do it again.” and they reply, “No I couldn’t possibly do that, I’m a liberal ally. Look at what a great ally I am.” (Disclaimer, I’ve only experienced this as a white woman who has had liberal men claim “but actually, I can’t be sexist as I am liberal and an ally therefore I’m not capable.” I’m going to throw up.)

Like I said, recognize your racism, correct it and move on. And continue being a fantastic ally by sitting down and listening when a person of color says something is racist. If we’re going to get anywhere and try to dismantle the institutions that keep equality from happening, we actually need to listen to our own racism and the people who our oppressed by systems that benefit us.

Cover Image Credit: pexels

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30 Things I'd Rather Be Than 'Pretty'

Because "pretty" is so overrated.
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Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

I want to give you the same feeling that you get in paradise.

30. Curious

And I never want to stop searching for answers.
Cover Image Credit: Favim

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The Internet’s Infatuation With 'Soft Boys' Needs To Stop

Quick, (before he ghosts you), let me know if this boy sounds familiar!

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You know he exists. Your girlfriends have told you whisperings. He's lurking nearby. It's…the softboy. The one who civilly slides into your DMs because he would love to hear your thoughts on philosophy, literature, or his vinyl collection.

Okay, sorry, backing up. In order to understand what a softboy is, you must know some history. Internet 101 is in session. No need to silence your cell.

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In the past few years, society has finally come up with a word for a male sl*t: a f*ckboy! In case you don't know this slang, a f*ckboy is a male who is strictly into sexual relationships facilitated by manipulation. You know, the kind of shallow guy who sends unprompted pictures of his genitals. He is typically seen with "his boys" because bros come before h*es. A f*ckboy will tell you that "you're not like the other girls"; this is supposed to be a compliment because he doesn't have any respect for other girls. Quick, (before he ghosts you), let me know if this boy sounds familiar!

Well, ladies and gents, we have a new monster on our hands. Or, rather, the same monster in a sheepskin disguise: the softboy!

The softboy Internet craze is a new trend, created as a seeming pendulum swing from the overt dirt-baggery of the infamous f*ckboy. Finally, American culture has a backlash against obvious jerks! …Only to be replaced by the same guy, but this time, in Doc Martins.

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They are imitations of the adorkable, lanky white boys of the month on Twitter such as Noah Centineo, Cole Sprouse, Timothee Chalamet, and Troye Sivan – the guys who are not afraid to express their feminine side in their emotional art. Young people adore them for their androgynous beauty and progressive sweetness. In turn, normal guys impersonate these famous people in hopes of receiving that same adoration from women.

However, what these imitators, these softboys, lack is the authenticity of the guys they're trying hard to look like. It's a façade to get in others' pants. He regurgitates whatever you want to hear and will use that to sleep with you before he moves on to "deal with his journey as a flaneur". Whether you're dealing with a f*ckboy or a softboy, they're both manipulating others based on what they think they like. And manipulation is wrong.

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Let me argue further, whereas an out-and-proud f*ckboy will wear a tank-top and listen to SoundCloud rappers, the softboy prefers a thrifted sweater while listening to indie music and calling all other tunes "trash". You know, because he is sensitive.

Whereas a f*ckboy half-jokes about being a meninist, the softboy respects women too much to pay for anything, ever. He calls himself a feminist, utilizing the label to his advantage. The softboy knows he's not going to make any girl swoon by being a total misogynist, so he plays the antithesis. But as soon as the situation gets ugly, he will show his real philosophy, with his patronizing voice calling you a derogatory name when something doesn't go his way.

Everything a softboy does is a ploy, (so convincing, that he may even believe these things about himself). He completes this performance to demonstrate to you that he's the good note in the noise. And that's why you have to be wary of him.

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