Dear Society,

I am tired. I am a person of mixed color and I am tired. I am so beyond tired of feeling the way I do. I am tired of constantly feeling pulled in both directions. I am tired that I have to feel this way. One side of my race being accused of racism. One side of my race not being treated equally and discriminated against. I constantly feel like I can’t win and I am tired. My mind is being pulled in a million different directions and I am tired.

I am tired of seeing that another black life was taken at the hands of a person of different color and has more power than them. Why is there any reason in the world to shoot someone who is unarmed? What happened to cops actually arresting people and taking them in? What happened to using tasers as a first option before guns? I am tired of the justice system constantly letting these people off for killing a person of color or the people getting out early because of “good behavior.” They should serve the full time just like anyone else would. They committed murder, but because of their status they will get treated in a better way. Yes, there are cases where a cop shot and they had every reason to. They were trained to do so and that’s the end of the story. However, if the suspect is unarmed and you and another cop are on top of them pinning them down there is absolutely no reason to shoot. I am tired of the justice system in general. It needs some serious reevaluating on how it works.

I am tired of the news trying to justify why a cop would shoot instead of arrest. I am tired of the news talking about all the wrongs that person has done instead of the fact that they have a wife, kids, mother, and friends that love them dearly. I am tired of seeing mug shots for a picture instead of a picture showing what kind of person they really are outside of crime. They are a human being. They aren’t an animal. Believe it or not their blood is the same exact color as any other race. Whether they were committing a crime or not this is what a prison is for, not what killing is for. I am tired of never hearing about the cop who shot them. They are protected because of what they did, but the black life they just took never had a chance to even be protected. I often hear on the news, “The officer is on leave until further notice.” I am tired of constantly having to watch arguments over social media. I see people say, “Well did you know this guy was previously a criminal for this?” this comment is so wrong. Criminal or not I don’t think that means they need to be shot and killed. People make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we get a free pass to shoot them. No ones’ hands are clean 24/7 and your past does not determine who you are as a person to this day. I am tired of the news constantly showing the ugliest parts of riots. The parts where people are just running around aimlessly causing destruction, but they don’t show the part where people just want their voices heard peacefully and want change. There have been some awful riots, but there are people at these riots peacefully protesting. They shouldn’t be grouped with the people who chose to be heard in the ugliest manner.

I am tired of people saying all cops are corrupt. That is the worst statement anyone could ever make. Yes, there are corrupt cops in this world just like there are corrupt people in general all over the world. We can’t group all cops as bad because that is the exact same thing as grouping all people of color as criminals. There are good cops out there. There are cops that don’t agree with what is going on either. There are cops that have to fear for their lives because of these cops who made a poor judgment decision. Think back to all the times cops have saved your life before you think all cops are corrupt. They are the first ones to a car accident putting their life at risk to get to you, they are the ones that will be there at any time of the night when you need help, and they are the ones that are always trying to look out for you. There are still cops out there that want to serve and protect their people no matter what color.

I am sick and tired of racism. It still exists and is well and alive. It is everywhere and all around us. It is in my hometown, it is in my college town, racism is everywhere. It did not die when the slaves were freed and it never will. Racism will never go away. It is how generations were raised and their family’s thoughts on people of color will continue to be passed down from generation to generation. So many times I have had my very own best friends say to me, “I like black people, but my parents would kill me if I ever brought a black man home to meet my family.” As if this phrase doesn’t mean anything to me or hurt my feelings. My father is black and I couldn’t be more proud of my family’s heritage and what we have gone through to be where we are now. I am tired of people throwing the “n” word around like it means nothing. I am also tired of people of color getting offended by someone saying the “n” word because the thing is so many songs in our culture today constantly say it making it seem like it is an okay word to use. If we are going to get offended by it then don’t refer to your friends as it, and don’t put it in your music anymore. I am tired of hearing people say, “I’m not racist, but black people just scare me.” I am sorry, but that is a racist comment. They have done nothing to you, but you will automatically make a claim based on their color. Racism doesn’t just exist for black people. It is people of all colors including white people. Black people not liking white people to me is considered racism as well. I wish more than anything someday we could look at everyone as equal, that it wouldn’t even cross our mind that someone is different than us, and that we could all actually coexist peacefully.

It’s 2016 people, grow up. Change how you look at people, how you treat people, how you talk about people. I am tired of feeling like I live in a country that is suppose to be free when I feel anything but free. I am heartbroken to think of anyone being discriminated against. Where is anyone’s hearts? How can you not feel bad for treating one another this way? How can you blame any race based on one person’s actions? We are all made differently for a reason whether it’s our face structure, hair color, skin color, height, weight, and so on. Why can’t we all just see the inner beauty in everyone and love one another for how they are different. Life would be so much easier if we started thinking differently. Do me a favor and listen to the song ‘Where Is The Love’ by the Black Eyed Peas, and for God’s sake please grow up.