Dear Risk Manager,

Thank you for taking a job for the entire year that most of us dread doing for one social. Time and time again you remind us that we made the right choice when electing you; as a responsible member of our chapter who keeps us safe through all the fun and games we have planned throughout the semester. You took the job that we all love to hate because you care and we usually take all your hard work for granted.

Thank you for reminding me to wear a coat to date party. Before you said anything, I thought I could scurry from the door of the house to the bus and from the bus to the bar in ten seconds flat. Add in the winter wonderland that is Ohio and the not-so-organized bouncers at the bar and I was more than happy to be wearing my sleeping-bag puffy winter coat while having to wait outside for ten minutes. In fact, I wish I had dug up my childhood snow pants as well.

Thank you for being more legit than the bouncers that were provided for us. You kicked out those creepy randos like a champ without batting an eye. The venue should really give you perks for doing their job.

Thanks for making me wear my shoes home even though I complained about the excruciating pain. After seeing the broken glass, garbage and unidentifiable substances on the sidewalks and road, I’m convinced that walking through that barefoot would have led to the loss of my toes.

Thank you for making sure I get home safe when I have a little too much fun. I swear you’re more forgiving of my lapses in judgment than my own mother. It’s easy to forget that the big city can be a scary place when it’s dark out.

Thank you for shoving through four awkward couples making out just to give me water. I often forget the awesome life-saving powers of H2O because it isn’t as fun to drink and doesn’t have a fun name or come with a little umbrella.

Without you around, we would have much bigger problems than a hangover and a few bumps and bruises the day after a function. You bring us back to reality when we think we are invincible. Just because I was dressed as a pilot for the social didn’t mean that I could actually fly. As always, I will try harder for fewer shambles in the future. Sending you my love and good luck for next event.

Sincerely,

Your Chapter