Dear Phone, I Love You

Dear Phone, I Love You

But I don't know you.
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I got a new phone a month ago and if it was possible to marry it, I wouldn’t even be writing this because I’d been in Las Vegas meeting with an Elvis impersonator. It’s beautiful and new and doesn’t go half black when it gets cold, randomly freeze, or start playing random videos when I’m talking to my mom. Totally creepy, by the way.

No, my phone is about as perfect as it would be if it were my own baby (until I get a new one two years from now, of course), but as I flipped back and forth between writing this article and procrastinating by stalking my social media, I realized that I don’t really do anything with it.

Email. ENews. Buzzfeed. Facebook. Repeat.

Although, it’s mostly Facebook. You see, I think that the technology-obsession trait might have skipped over me. I’m quite liable to set my phone somewhere in my house and not check it for a few days. If I leave the house with my family, I don’t bother taking it with me. Chances are if I get a call, it doesn’t get answered—especially on this phone because I only just realized how to check my voicemail. Instagram and Twitter are like mysteries to me; and they're a hassle. Plus, there are all these apps on it that I can’t seem to delete, so they must be important.

I’ve realized that what I use my phone for is just scratching the surface. There’s got to be a million other things to do but I’m stuck being the least techiest 21-year-old in the short history of cell phones. Sure, it’s a distraction some of the time (alright, alright, most of the time), but that’s because I prefer reading people’s statuses on Facebook to writing papers and doing homework.

I know the tricks to my phone, how to work it—but I guess that I subconsciously don’t want my phone to rule my life. I don’t want to be that girl that got hit by a train because she was too preoccupied. I feel like if anyone is going to get hit by a train, it’d be me.

So why on earth do I spend money on something that I don’t use that in depth? Because it’s shiny. Pretty. New. Because it has all the answers in the world on it and has the ability to tell me what crazy thing happened on "Grey’s Anatomy" the other night or the color Taylor Swift dyed her hair. Because I can see that my professor cancelled class and therefore happy dances can ensue.

I figure it’s OK to be not techy with your phone, so long as you use it for what makes you happy. I don’t need to know the inside and out of it or what the heck go90 is or why I have two messaging apps. I definitely don’t need to use Kindle on my phone either, because then I’d definitely die happy in my plethora of books, but I’d be broke, too.

I’d like to know more about what my phone can do, but I think this relationship might be fine with a little mystery, too. That way in the two years that I have it, I’m still learning new and exciting things about it rather than chomping at the bit to upgrade.

Cover Image Credit: Karryon

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50 Quotes from the Best Vines

If you're picturing the vines in your head, you're doing it right
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In 2017 we had to say goodbye to one of the best websites to ever roam the internet: Vine. In case you have been living under a rock since 2013, Vine was -(sad face)- a website and app that took the internet and the app store by storm in Winter 2013. It contained 6-second videos that were mostly comedy- but there were other genres including music, sports, cool tricks and different trends. Vine stars would get together and plan out a vine and film it till they got it right.

It was owned by Twitter and it was shut down because of so many reasons; the viners were leaving and making money from Youtube, there was simply no money in it and Twitter wanted us to suffer.

There's been a ton of threads on Twitter of everyone's favorite vines so I thought I'd jump in and share some of my favorites. So without further ado, here are some quotes of vines that most vine fanatics would know.

1. "AHH...Stahhp. I coulda dropped mah croissant"

2. "Nate how are those chicken strips?" "F%#K YA CHICKEN STRIPS.....F%#K ya chicken strips!"

3. "Road work ahead? Uh Yea, I sure hope it does"

4. "Happy Crimus...." "It's crismun..." "Merry crisis" "Merry chrysler"

5. "...Hi Welcome to Chili's"

6. "HoW dO yOu kNoW wHaT's gOoD fOr mE?" "THAT'S MY OPINIONNN!!!.."

7."Welcome to Bible Study. We're all children of Jesus... Kumbaya my looordd"

8. Hi my name's Trey, I have a basketball game tomorrow. Well I'm a point guard, I got shoe game..."

9. "It's a avocadooo...thanks"

10. "Yo how much money do you have?" "69 cents" "AYE you know what that means?" "I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets"

11. "Hurricane Katrina? More like Hurricane Tortilla."

12. "Hey Tara you want some?" "This b*%th empty. YEET!"

13. "Get to Del Taco. They got a new thing called Freesha-- Free-- Freeshavaca do"

14. "Mothertrucker dude that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick"

15. "Two brooss chillin in a hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they're not gay"

16. "Jared can you read number 23 for the class?" "No I cannot.... What up I'm Jared, I'm 19 and I never f#@%in learned how to read."

17. "Not to be racist or anything but Asian people SSUUGHHH"

18. 18. "I wanna be a cowboy baby... I wanna be a cowboy baby"

19. "Hey, I'm lesbian" "I thought you were American"

20. "I spilled lipstick in your Valentino bag" "you spilled- whaghwhha- lipstick in my Valentino White bag?"

21. "What's better than this? Guys bein dudes"

22. "How'd you get these bumps? ya got eggzma?" "I got what?" "You got eggzma?"

23. "WHAT ARE THOSEEEEE?" "THEY are my crocs!"

24. "Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?"

25. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAVEN!" "I can't sweem"

26. "Say Coloradoo" "I'M A GIRAFFE!!"

27. "How much did you pay for that taco?" Aight yo you know this boys got his free tacoo"

28. *Birds chirping* "Tweekle Tweekle"

29. "Girl, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal"

30. "I brought you Frankincense" "Thank you" "I brought you Myrrh" "Thank you" "Mur-dur" "huh...Judas..no"

31. "Sleep? I don't know about sleep...it's summertime" "You ain't go to bed?" "Oh she caught me"

32. "All I wanna tell you is school's not important... Be whatever you wanna be. If you wanna be a dog...RUFF. You know?"33. "Oh I like ya accent where you from?" "I'm Liberian" "Oh, my bad *whispering* I like your accent..."

34. "Next Please" "Hello" "Sir, this is a mug shot" "A mug shot? I don't even drink coffee"


35. "Hey did you happen to go to class last week?" "I have never missed a class"

36. "Go ahead and introduce yourselves" "My name is Michael with a B and I've been afraid of insects my entire-" "Stop, stop, stop. Where?" "Hmm?" "Where's the B?" "There's a bee?"

37. "There's only one thing worse than a rapist...Boom" "A child" "No"

38. "Later mom. What's up me and my boys are going to see Uncle Kracker...GIVE ME MY HAT BACK JORDAN! DO YOU WANNA SEE UNCLE KRACKER OR NO?


39. "Dad look, it's the good kush." This is the dollar store, how good can it be?"

40. "Zach stop...Zach stop...You're gonna get in trouble. Zach"

41. "CHRIS! Is that a weed? "No this is a crayon-" I'm calling the police" *puts 911 into microwave* "911 what's your emergency"

42. "WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? "

43. *Blowing vape on table* * cameraman blows it away* "ADAM"

44. "Would you like the spider in your hand?" "Yea" "Say please" "Please" *puts spider in hand* *screams*

45. "Oh hi, thanks for checking in I'm still a piece of garrbaagge"

46. *girl blows vape* "...WoW"

47. *running* "...Daddy?" "Do I look like-?"

48. *Pours water onto girl's face" "Hello?"

49. "Wait oh yes wait a minute Mr. Postman" "HaaaAHH"

50. "...And they were roommates" "Mah God they were roommates"


I could literally go on forever because I just reference vines on a daily basis. Rest in peace Vine

Cover Image Credit: Vine

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