Dear mom and dad, stop apologizing for the divorce.
It's been years now, this family has moved past it. Stop apologizing you didn't give me and my siblings "the life we wanted," because honestly, I can't imagine a life with you two still married. Although that time in our lives was definitely not the easiest, I can see the good things that came from it.
For one, I'm closer to my siblings. The days of watching TV in silence to only speak in an argument over who had control of the remote, the days of not knowing what the other was going through on a day to day basis, are now long behind us. In the years our family was dealing with the divorce, us kids started talking to each other. We didn't feel like telling our friends about our at home issues, they surely wouldn't understand, so who else did we have? And I'm grateful for that. As we've all grown up and started to live our own separate lives, we all still stay in touch and have learned how to miss each other, something I don't think we'd have if we hadn't been forced out of our daily routine of ignoring one another in the same house.
I'm closer with both of you. The time you guys had apart made my relationship with each of you so much stronger.
Mom - please stop thinking you were ever a "bad mom" to us kids. You're by far one of the strongest women I've ever seen, and I've never seen you do any less than your best. You never needed to put up a strong front for us kids, and thank you for showing me that it's okay to get set back, and never okay to give up.
Dad - not living with you was never a choice between "which parent I liked more," and I think you know that. But I'm so grateful for you being a phone call away, and giving me the freedom to make decisions for myself. I got to know both of you as individuals, and it's something I couldn't imagine not having through my teenage years, and I'm so glad I'll have it through my crucial adult years too.
Lastly, I feel no resentment. I never find myself silently wishing you guys had gotten back together. I never feel like I missed out on a part of my childhood. You both at some point have said to me "I'm sorry you kids didn't get the normal life you deserved," and it makes me laugh. I'm stronger, more understanding, more open minded, and way more appreciative of the people in my life than I ever would have been if I hadn't watched you guys decide to make yourselves happy.
That time in our lives was hard on all of us but it was the hardest on you two, so please don't add to that with invalid guilt. Whether you realize it or not, you both have taught me to be brave, to stand up for myself, and most importantly, that choosing happiness doesn't mean it will come easily.
This is me telling you guys to remove that weight of guilt off your shoulders, the apologies have already been accepted, and that time has already passed. I love you both very much.
Sincerely,
The child who will love you through anything.
