Dear Parents,
It’s an exciting time when your kid comes home the summer after their freshman year of college. I’m sure you probably want to hear the millions of stories they have and catch up on all that lost time. After all, this is probably the last time you’ll have your baby around before they move on to summers abroad, internships, or jobs they begin to focus on instead of you. You find that this summer is not what you expect. Your kid has a negative attitude, isn’t communicating with you, and worst of all they trap themselves in their room when they're home.
It’s all normal though! This happens for almost every college freshman who comes home for the summer, so let me give you a little glimpse into the mindset of the student.
It’s not that your kid doesn’t want to be around you anymore, it’s that they crave the independence they once had, which was ripped away from them when summer began. It’s not anything you’re doing, it’s just that they want to get out of the nest. They want to leave and go back to experiencing life in a new light.
They’re tired of picking up after their younger sibling(s) and their stuff constantly getting moved. They’re tired of being asked 24/7 where they are and getting in trouble if they don't reply in time. They’ve spent the last nine months without any of these things happening and it’s frustrating to have to return to it.
They feel alone. They feel like you aren’t listening to what they are saying because you are too consumed in work, the other kids, or your cellphone to be able to comprehend what they are saying. And most of all, they feel like you don’t understand. They feel like you don’t want to give the conversation a chance, because you’ve already picked your side and are ready to defend it to the death.
But don’t worry. They'll come around. However, they need the time to grow independently, just like you had in order to compromise and be on the same page again. Even if y’all don’t agree on the same lifestyles, that doesn’t mean there won’t be a time where they put their views aside (and you will too) in order to be on that same page again.
They need their space. They need their own lifestyle. They need their independence. And they want you to listen as much as you want them to listen.
Love,
Your college freshman home for the summer
