Dear No one…..well someone…today was a big defeat for me. I didn’t wear my earrings today…..Now that may seem like a small thing, nothing to put on pressure…., most don’t see the big deal in leaving their earrings on their dresser. But you see I can walk out the house with a makeup free face. Because for so long my makeup wasn’t actually makeup. Because my earring were my makeup. An insecure girl like me going a day without some bling in my feeble mind was such a horrible thing.
I went without earrings for one day and I felt free of some oppressor because dear no one I left those earrings on the dresser. My earrings for a while served as my safety cape. Covering my smile when I spoke because somehow such small jewelry hanging from my ears could cover up every single flaw I had. Looking back on how dependent on them I was, makes me kinda sad. Makes me angry because someone with my personality has no right to be insecure. For so long I denied it. But you can’t fake confidence there’s no way to hide it.
Dear No One I didn’t wear my earrings today and normally I look into the mirror to count out all my flaws. But today I saw none at all. Not sayings I’m flawless trust I’m far from it. But it was a new wave of relief knowing that I could overcome it, to not feel a flame inside me. Filled with hate for myself that I had somehow lit. Earrings were my makeup ….. They never let me down. But when I didn’t wear them I suddenly saw how big my nose was…..I felt like a clown.
Knowing that others could feel my discomfort in not having any jewelry on….not even studs….I felt like such a dud! Without those studs I felt like a lesser version of me. As if wearing them made me the prettiest I could be. But Dear No One…..I didn’t wear them today. And instead of my body language oozing and screaming out “I HAVE A DEEP INSECURITY.” I looked at myself in the mirror and said “You’re Quite the Beauty.” Because deep down inside I know….people will like me…and I know that some won’t.
We are all fighting little battles that not everyone knows about. My battle is that I hide my insecurities behind earrings…..someone else’s could be shoes, But luckily we can all defeat these battles…..that’s if that is what we choose. Because win or lose we will all still be who we are. And with that faith we could all go pretty far.
But I’ve made it past the biggest feat of all and as I sit and ponder over all the petty little things. Dear, No one…..I’ll never forget the day….that I didn’t wear my earrings.
