Sometimes as I lie in my bed at night unable to put my mind to ease I close my eyes tightly. And if I squeeze my eyes just tight enough my mind transcends time. Suddenly, I am two again. I am sitting in my mom’s arms drifting into slumber. My miniature pointer finger intertwines with my mom’s chestnut hair. Her soft hand strokes my cheek as quietly she sings you are my sunshine, my only sunshine… And soon, both two-year-old me and twenty-year-old me are deep into sleep.

There have been many restless nights in my twenty years of life, and I am sure that you have also had your fair share. You know how twins can sometimes feel each other's pain? I think that sometimes I can feel yours and you can feel mine. It seems like you always know when to call. And some nights when my shoulders feel a little heavier than usual, or my eyes begin to welt for no reason my mind wanders to you. I'm sure this all sounds crazy or fictional. But do you know what is very, very real? The fact that during every struggle, every hardship, every discomfort that I have experienced in my life there has been one constant- my mom by my side.

You are always, always there. What you don't not know is that while you are comforting me, I am contemplating what you would do in the same situation. I try to put myself in your mind because you are easily the strongest, most inspirational woman in my life. Each time you speak I am amazed by how much you have grown since the last time we spoke. It is no exaggerations when I say that you are truly successful in every possible way. You paint and write beautifully, reupholster furniture, sing, and bake the greatest red velvet cake ever tasted. I don't tell you enough, but you are an extraordinary leader, mother, sister, wife, and daughter. I am so excited that you are beginning to see that you can give any man a run for his money. Mom, your accomplishments know no limits and for that reason there is never a better person to turn to than you.

I think it is safe to say that most people love their mother. There is an inherent love that you have for those that birth and help raise you. But how many can say they would love their mother just the same if she wasn’t their mother? I am beyond lucky that our love expands far beyond a mother-daughter relationship. Somehow you effortlessly shape-shift from my role model, to my best friend, and also my guardian angel. There is not a day that goes by that I don't thank God for making me your daughter.

There are many, many reasons that you deserve mother of the year, of a lifetime award. The craziest thing is that I don’t think people understand just how truly amazing she is. So, I am awarding you a lifetime achievement award for motherhood.

Mom, you are always the first person I want to call anytime I get good or bad news. I think there have been only a few periods of time that we have gone more than a day without at least texting each other. And the fact that I want to call you says A LOT because you are very aware, I absolutely hate talking on the phone.

When I call you just wanting to vent about whatever stupid drama is going on this week you're always more than willing to listen. You always know how to calm me down when I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through a hectic week of essays due in every class or an abundance of meetings all scheduled for the same times. As I catch my breath after endless minutes of ranting the call will fall silent. Sometimes the slightest shudder in your breath breaks the silence, and I hear you choke out the words "I love you". Without seeing you, I know that dams in both of our eyes are beginning to fill. In that moment, I want to be home more than anything because it is just so hard being away from your best friend for so long. But Mom, please don't worry too much about me and I will try to do the same for you. I know you feel every ounce of pain that I feel, but nothing would make me happier than if you would try not to. Please try to remember that all of this pain is only temporary. And know that the thing pushing me to work so hard, the reason I never want to give up, the reason it is okay that we are apart is you. I do everything I do for you.

Mom, my favorite compliment is being told that I am just like you because I couldn’t ask for a better person to be compared to. I hope that one day I can be even half the woman you are. I don’t think I have ever told you this, but you are the reason that I cannot wait to be a mom. You have been the perfect example of how to love and care for another being. The idea that I could impact a life as much you have impacted mine is nearly impossible for me to believe. But I can’t wait for the opportunity to do so. I look to your relationship with Granny as reassurance that our love will never change. I hope that one day when I have children and you are retired with grandchildren that you will still want to hear my voice everyday because I will always want to hear yours.

And so, the award goes to you for being not only an incredible mother, but an incredible person. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for knowing when to push me harder and when to be a shoulder to cry on. Thank you for not watching This Is Us without me. Thank you for knowing when I just need to eat my feelings in Chinese food. Thank you for making my dream of matching tattoos come true. Thank you for being my very best friend.

Happy Birthday, Mom! I love you so much!