It seems today people say the word “millennials” like Mr. Turner says “Dinkleberg” in The Fairly Oddparents (a cartoon any millennial should be familiar with). Squint of the eyes, shake of the head, unconcealed rage coming through in every syllable. There’s a strong amount of disdain associated with the word and the generation, to the point that I feel condescending writing it and I am a millennial.
In the past year, there have been a plethora of articles about millennials “killing” things that older generations love and cherish. And a few things no one particularly loves and cherishes, but we’re still killing them and it’s worth writing an article about. These articles are not just published on fringe sites or your grandmother’s blog. These articles are from Forbes, Business Insider, and more “legitimate” news sites. We millennials are cold-blooded murderers.
Of what specifically you may ask? Well, there’s golf and the movie business. Paper napkins and Home Depot. Cereal. The NFL. Manners. Think of something and I bet you we’re killing it.
Let’s ignore the fact that of the 29,000,000 golfers in the United States, 83% of them are over the age 40, revealing that it’s probably not that millennials are killing golf, but that people pick up the sport at a later age. And let’s not even bother getting into the fact that average household income of people who play golf is $95,000, indicating how expensive the sport is, because surely that has nothing to do with why millennials are not so interested in playing. (Statistics courtesy of statisticbrain.com)
Let’s also ignore the condescending nature of Mintel’s findings that millennials find cereal “too much work to eat.” Let’s also ignore the byline of Inc. article on millennials ruining vacations that reads “Young people are the worst offenders when it comes to foregoing time off. Thanks for that precedent, guys.” You’re welcome, love the most stressed out generation. We were declared the most stressed out generation by Business Insider, the same Business Insider that claims we’re killing golf and napkins.
Let’s ignore the fact that we almost killed the wine cork, when we should have succeeded in killing the wine cork because those things are pointless and annoying. Let’s ignore the fact that one generation alone cannot kill the American Dream and democracy single-handedly. Let’s ignore the contradictory idea that we as a generation love the “style of life” but are also killing fashion.
Who cares about providing the nitty gritty facts and calling out the condescension when we could fight back by doing the thing we’re best at, millennials: killing.
Kill the idea that we as a generation need to worry about a failing sports industry if it’s a sport we are not interested in playing. Kill the idea that we have to prescribe to how past generations did relationships or sitcoms or democracy. Kill the napkin industry if it’s better to use paper towels or an environmentally friendlier option. Please don’t kill vacation, but keep killing the idea that we’re lazy because we dare to own technology, when in actuality, we’re the most stressed and (apparently) badly dressed generation. Kill sitcoms, kill the movie business, kill the NFL, kill the things that are not working and look to replace it something better. Kill the idea that old ways are always better ways. Sometimes they are – I wouldn’t mind saving the hangout sitcom and I don’t think the NFL is going anywhere. But we’re not buying napkins for a reason, we’re not wearing suits for a reason, and those reasons aren’t inherently bad.
Most of all, we should be the generation that kills looking down on other generations for daring to do things differently. I don’t want to wake up at 40 and hate the way my kids are living their lives just because it’s not how I lived mine. I’ll be sad if broadcast networks and cable fail under their watch and they all decide not to play tennis, but I promise not to write an article about how they’re ruining the culture as we know it – even if they are. I want to trust they’re creating a better culture to replace it or at least one that is equal, but different.
So, to my fellow millennials, keep fighting the good fight. You’re killing it.
