Dear men, how often do you think about sexual assault? If and when you do, how does it make you feel? Disgusted? Indifferent?
Sexual assault is one of those topics that we often prefer to place near the back of our minds, shielding ourselves from its sheer complexity*. But whatever the reason for abstaining from this subject, it’s time to stop hiding from the fact that sexual assault happens on a daily basis and affects our lives either directly or indirectly. It happens consistently on our college campuses, and it's important that we acknowledge that. It is also especially crucial that men begin to truly consider their role when it comes to sexual assault.
Why men? Although sexual violence occurs to women, men and gender-nonconforming people, it is men who perpetrate the majority of all these crimes. Furthermore, men are, on average, far less likely to experience sexual violence than women in their lifetimes. Fear of sexual assault is not a fear that most men tend to live with; however, women, especially on college campuses, often report feeling scared to walk alone at night, saying no to someone’s advances, wearing revealing clothes, or being left alone with a man. To put it more bluntly, men often have more privilege than women when it comes to personal safety.
Our current society promotes ideologies that objectify and unnecessarily sexualize women and do not promote respect for all people. There is a significant lack of understanding of what consent means in sexual situations and when to respect another person’s boundaries. Women can understand this struggle very well, but it is generally very difficult for men to empathize with what women endure. If sexual assault is going to ever see a decline in statistics, it is critical that men start having these conversations surrounding what their actions might be promoting and furthering this culture of sexual violence. Rape jokes perpetuate rape culture. Talking about women as playthings perpetuates rape culture. Harassing women while leaning out of your driver seat window perpetuates rape culture. Ignoring a woman repeatedly saying “no” perpetuates rape culture. These things put the very safety of women, including your loved ones, at risk.
Dear men, there is only so much that women can do to fight a system that fights back against them, and we need your help. You hold tremendous power to end sexual assault, but you need to begin by understanding both what sexual assault is and your role with regards to this topic. Ending sexual assault concerns everyone, including you. Not only because it can affect the women in your life, but because it is fundamentally a crime against people’s humanity. Hold your friends accountable for their actions and words and practice genuine respect towards all people, women and men alike. Show a willingness to be an ally for survivors and women who feel like they don’t have a voice. Your privilege as a man itself is not something to be ashamed of — but is a tool to end a crime against human beings. How will you use your power?
