Dear 18 yr old ambitous High School Senior Me,
I know you are starting to think about college a lot more with scholarships and college reps visiting and holding fairs. You are trying to keep up with applications and school work, and that part time job. You are doing club activities and playing varsity sports. You are doing all of that because you were told that your resume would look good, but you also enjoy it so its not completely draining. I see you spending long nights working, struggling, and slacking too (don't lie). I just want to let you know how the first year of college is going to go for you.
You get POSSE, which helped you into Brandeis University, "ranking in the 2017 edition of Best Colleges is National Universities, 34." I know coming from a small girls school in atlanta was just a little to small, but lets be honest you loved it, and brandeis isn't that much different, except there are males other than the teachers and staff, and you don't have a uniform (which at the time seemed like hinder and "not cool," but you're going to miss being able to wake up every day and know exactly what you're going to wear. Now you actually have to put thought into it, sometimes). You go into the year with a family, finally getting to know the "older posse" from both Atlanta and New York. You have a one thing in mind: graduate as a PreMed student.
Ambitious as always you follow the brandesian way of sciences and double with Bio, Chem, and Chem lab with two others just to fufill your requirements. You also take a lot of time to build your social life on campus too. signing up for all these clubs, when really you didn't actually stick with any of them except one. You quickly discovered that Brandeis isn't known for it's wild ragers, but non the less, it's just right for you. You start the semester strong and keep up with all your work, do all the readings and problem sets. Your friend group expands, and you are having fun. To much fun. You're slipping. You're compromising your school habits to go to that one event. You volenteer for more events, even do a pagent and dance with a crew (yea that was wild). You love and cry over family, friends, and classes. Your grades start calling your attention.
Second semester comes around, you managed to pull out that first semester, but you still haven't hit the bottom yet. Still ambitious you recall why you're here. Remember why you're doing all this work for. Family and personal life hits you left and right, and you have to drop a class because you can't seem to keep up anymore. You gave a good fight first semester, but round two, you're still drained. Even though you worked harder, trying to catch up when you're already behind is a challenge that was harder than you expected. You didn't pass that one class. You are set back. Your four year plan has been erased. You feel as though you just waisted that whole first year. You are no closer to your goal than when you first came in. You will feel destroyed, pathetic, and have a serious case of imposter syndrome. Hell, I still get this feeling sometimes, but you can over come it.
You are no less worthy of being here than anyone else. You have worked so hard since you were young, don't stop now. Yea you have a social life, but don't let it distract you. You are not in a race to your goal, and you have to be very flexible. life is not a straight line of success, and so don't worry if you aren't doing things as you planned. its okay! Life doesn't come with a manuel. Everyone makes their own path at their own time. I still don't have all the answers because i'm still trying to adjust the path yet again. Stop worring and trust that you will be fine. Have faith, keep working, and USE YOUR RESOURCES! Build relationships with your teachers, and over all don't be discouraged when life isn't how you planned it, because those who claim to have life "figured out" aren't really living life.
