Dear guys who use Facebook like Tinder,
You are the bane of my social media existence. I go on Facebook to check my notifications, see whose birthday it is this week, and to share some hilarious cat videos with my besties. I am not interested in talking to you. Not because I am a self-centered person who you “don’t want to f*ck anyway,” but because you are not interested in getting to know me as a person. Instead, you see me as an object.
I receive a friend request on Facebook from you, and we have several mutual friends. We might have gone to school together, or we have been at the same social events; I befriend you, and you immediately message me. This is always a problem because I am always going to give you the benefit of the doubt, and you will always let me down by hitting on me instantly.
I act respectfully and tell you that I am not interested, but persistence must be your word of the day. Look. I am telling you this for all the girls out who are clearly not interested in your game; you’re not going to get anything out of this attempt to get a girl to sleep with you. Please stop.
In case you are confused, Facebook is not a dating app. I am not befriending you to invite you to my list of possible hook-ups. And when I tell you that I have a boyfriend, it is not to be a prude or act “hard to get.” I am telling you out of respect for every person in this awkward situation that you seem to wish to continue.
I will gladly have a conversation with you as long as it does not consist of you asking me about what I am doing later tonight or how come I am not messaging you back as fast as you want me to. I am not interested in you if you do not have anything interesting to say. That may sound like I am being rude, but after you have consistently tried to convince me to go out with you, there is nothing that I want to do more than shut down this conversation.
Also, your perseverance is not attractive, nor is it necessary. You were friend-zoned before you even knew my name, yet you continue to act otherwise. I am not going to continue to be objectified by you so that you can keep your fragile masculinity intact. The messages full of sexual innuendos are not working, and the reason I have not replied is because I do not have any intention of messaging you back. So please stop the continual flow of question marks like you are puzzled about why I stopped replying.
You have ruined any chance you had of getting to know me. I know. You may not care, and you might just move on to the next women (who will probably do the exact same thing to you that I am doing). Or you could take this letter as a sign that it is time for a change. You should realize that you are treating women like they are disposable. We are all worth getting to know, and we are especially worth the respect you should be giving us. So please, take this as an incentive to change.
Sincerely,
The queen of the friend-zone
