I love to get dressed up, put on makeup, and go out with my friends dancing. Do I go out in hopes of meeting hot guys? I’m not going to lie, it’s on my mind, but mainly I go out because I want to get my dance on and have a good time with my girls. Let’s be honest, the chances of me meeting my soulmate in a dimly lit crowded dance floor with little AC are slim. If anything, I’ll meet him at Whole Foods, but definitely not the club. HOWEVER, what I’ve learned is that guys love to ask girls to dance with them at the club, which is understandable. I realize that dancing with someone else is a fun thing to do, but nine times out of 10, I don’t want to dance with said guy, so I politely say no. Most of the time, guys give me a sad look and just walk away, but every once in a while, a guy will be persistent, pushy, rude, or ask why.

Now, when a guy asks why, I always just answer, “Because I don’t want to,” but for some reason, this isn’t enough for them. They continue, “Come on,” “Just one dance,” “Don’t be mean,” and so on. So I figured maybe I need to start being more honest to these guys and explain why I don’t want to dance with them since apparently they’re too dumb to understand my saying “no” should be enough.

1. I don’t think you’re attractive.

Call me superficial, but I’m sure you didn’t come ask me to dance just because you saw me from across the room and thought, “Man, I bet she has one hell of a personality.” No, you came up because you thought I was good looking. However, I don’t reciprocate those feelings, and it doesn’t make me a bitch to think you’re not attractive. Everyone has different tastes. Personally, I don’t like guys with too much gel and shiny jewelry, so there.

2. You were too pushy when you asked.

Do not — I repeat, do not — grab my hand, pull my arm, walk up behind me and force me into dancing with you. Nope. Not acceptable. If you want to dance, at least ask politely. The whole being confident enough to force a girl to dance with you thing is a myth. You don’t look confident; you look creepy.

3. You smell really bad.

I realize it’s hot and we’re sweating, but bad B.O. is a strong left swipe. How do you expect me to dance with you if I can’t even stand next to you without wanting to gag? Invest in some strong deodorant and maybe some body spray or cologne. On the opposite end of this, you overdid it, man. I can smell your crappy Axe from across the room. Moderation is key. Also, for the love of God, bring some mints or gum with you. Of course I’m going to say no if your breath is awful.

4. You’re too short.

Again, call me superficial, but I like really tall guys. Everyone has their preferences, and I just happen to prefer a foot of distance in our heights. I’m sorry, man, but at the club, I’m significantly pickier than in real life, because the club isn’t about finding love. Out in the real world, if you seem nice and fairly good looking, I won’t care how tall you are, but when the music is bumping and I have a split second to decide whether I want to dance with you or not, your height is a key factor.

5. I’m having a really good time with my friends and don’t feel like dancing with a guy right now.

Look, I didn’t get dressed up for you. I got dressed up for me because I like mixing it up and occasionally wearing a tight dress with big heels and feeling myself, OK? There’s nothing wrong with that. I feel just as sexy in my workout clothes killing it at the gym as I do on the dance floor. And at the moment, they’re playing my song and I’m just trying to have a good time with my friends and you’re killing my vibe. Just back off please.

I realize walking up to a girl takes a lot of effort for some guys, but it’s really a simple process, just say, “Hey, want to dance?” and if she says yes, dance with her, be respectful, and have a good time. If she says no, step away and have enough respect not to harass her about it. You are not entitled to having a woman say yes to you just because you asked. You might actually be a really cool guy who can hold a great conversation and is extremely funny, but the dance floor isn’t about that. The dance floor is just about having a good time swinging my hips. If you’re looking for someone to appreciate you for more than just how tall, fit, attractive and well dressed you are, you’re at the wrong place, so when she says no, always assume she is simply not interested and back the f**k off.