Dear Freshman,

I know it can be hard to figure out the first few weeks of college. You may be trying to figure out where your classes are, how to live with your roommate, decide which clubs you want to join, or make new friends. While I haven’t found the key to the perfect freshman experience, I do have the “in” on what not to do when you get to college. Here are sixteen things you said when you were six that you probably shouldn’t say in college.

• When meeting new classmates: “Hi. Do you want to be my friend?”
• When asked where you’re from: “I’m from America.”
• When asked about your favorite subject: “It’s a tie between lunch and recess”
• When asked what you’re doing after class: “I have to have quiet time until dinner.”
• When meeting a new professor: “How old are you?”
• When dealing with a difficult friend: “I don’t like you anymore.”
• When asked what you miss most about home: “All of my stuffed animals and barbies.”
• When asked about your current goals in life: “To get a dog.”
• When asked which clubs you plan on joining: “Definitely Club Penguin.”
• When asked what you’d like to do for a living: “I’m still deciding between being Mr. Incredible, an astronaut, or a dolphin trainer.”
• When asked how far from home you’ve ever been: “One time, I had to stay at my grandparents’ house, thirty minutes away.”
• When asked why you believe something: “Because my parents say so.”
• When asked how late you stayed up to study for a test: “9:30. It was a late night.”
• When your roommate asks to turn off the light: “Wait! I need to put on my night light first.”
• When asked if you want to go to a party later on: “Oh boy! Whose birthday is it?”
• When planning to hang out: “I just have to ask my mom first.”