For the past three years, I have had to sift my way through swarms of Chubbies and boat shoes on my way to class, as though showing off the fact that you have skipped leg day (again) is a turn-on. I have had to kick cracked red Solo cups out of my path on my way to work, the hallmark sign that someone, somewhere off-campus threw a real banger of a party the night before that I did not attend because God knows that my pride and my liver can’t take another night of failed, drunken flirtation. I have had to deal, more times than my steely heart will let me admit, with ignored texts and opened Snapchats to some frat boy in whom I invested time and energy and emotion, only to be cruelly rebuked when someone better and blonder comes along. After three long years of fraternity “gentlemen” not living up to their presumptuous title, I have had it.
[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F02%2F16%2F636228714005242706624337105_giphy.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=616&h=e3d8f125ccbc4261d2409c1c6cd286650aa6f9f8fe558ee6333bd23912cbe25a&size=980x&c=3078284688 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F02%252F16%252F636228714005242706624337105_giphy.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D616%26h%3De3d8f125ccbc4261d2409c1c6cd286650aa6f9f8fe558ee6333bd23912cbe25a%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3078284688%22%7D" expand=1]
Now, before we begin, I’d like to preface this article by saying that I know you are not all the same. I know that there are some of you who understand the value of a good woman and make a point to invest your own time and energy and emotion into lasting relationships with us. You compliment us when you think we look pretty (or think we need to hear it) and you make a point to ask us how our days are. You consistently invite us to your fraternity events and are a real gentleman of a date, never taking one too many shots and making a fool out of yourself and, subsequently, us. You invite us over for Netflix nights and occasionally take us out to dinner, though we understand that we’re all broke college students and date nights must be a bit more sacred during our university years. I acknowledge that you men are out there; I really do. I’m just saying that as a whole, from my experience and the tragic tales of my female peers, you don’t exactly foster positive stereotypes for frat boys as a whole.
Here’s a bit of simple logic for all of you to live by: If you do not intend to text us back, don’t lead us on. Don’t waste our time by flirting with us at a party where we could be pursuing other, more promising endeavors. Don’t play with our hearts by inviting us over and sharing a fun night together, only to let us down when you fail to spot us any form of communication in the coming days. Don’t throw us breadcrumbs here and there by Snapchatting us and texting us when it’s convenient for you, but with no intention of actually fostering something solid and real. We are worthy of so much more than your half-hearted attempts to pique our interest.
[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F02%2F16%2F636228714783585672-707921986_giphy-1.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=754&h=a7fe9ff3ef1ff6a7a58705ad650a5ae21e854d15e230c3ec40719842a1ad4a82&size=980x&c=3705032726 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F02%252F16%252F636228714783585672-707921986_giphy-1.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D754%26h%3Da7fe9ff3ef1ff6a7a58705ad650a5ae21e854d15e230c3ec40719842a1ad4a82%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3705032726%22%7D" expand=1]
When you are interested, tell us. I’m not sure where the rumor surfaced that women are mind readers, but I’m here to squash that and let you know right know that if you don’t explicitly tell us that you have feelings or us and care of us, we will never know. Yes, I understand that there is the always imminent fear of your emotional outpouring not being reciprocated, but the reality is that if we are giving you the time of day, we probably care. If we’re playing games with you, well, I’m not going to say it’s not deserved--but maybe pursue a different lead than someone who is texting you and five other guys to secure a semi-formal date.
If we muster the courage to ask you to our semi-formals, understand that we are asking you not to stroke your ego or do you a favor, but because, with the exception of blind dates, we actually want to spend time with you. We want to share with you a fun night where we dance and laugh and have a good time. We don’t want you to black out, vomit on the bus, or not be able to keep your eyes open. Respect the fact that we have graciously extended an invitation to you, and behave according to how your mother would expect you to. Too many of you fail to see that we take the downfall for your reckless behavior. We are the ones subjected to anxiety-inducing meetings with disciplinary boards and we are the ones who suffer probation and other consequences. You get to laugh off your drunken antics with your buddies and do it all again the next night. We don’t.
[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F02%2F16%2F636228718712336310-1581142230_giphy.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=1012&h=f6ecef9ecb91a0fd45623886b934d55eb5f82faa6722d406f21df99afa4ee014&size=980x&c=2492140680 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F02%252F16%252F636228718712336310-1581142230_giphy.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D1012%26h%3Df6ecef9ecb91a0fd45623886b934d55eb5f82faa6722d406f21df99afa4ee014%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2492140680%22%7D" expand=1]
Like I said before, I’m not saying you all act like this. But I do think that all of you could afford to realize that despite what popular culture may say, we are not complicated creatures. Sure, just as there are exceptions with you, there are exceptions with us--girls who require constant emotional reassurance, fancy dinners at expensive restaurants, weekly gifts to ensure your love and devotion to us. That, however, is not the majority. See, most of us just want your company. We want you to spare a night of drinking or hanging with your bros to curl up next to us and watch a movie. We want you to tell us what you’re thinking so we don’t have to make inevitably incorrect assumptions about what how you’re feeling or what you’re doing. We want you to text back, but if you’re too busy to consistently communicate, then let us know. We’ll understand.
This is not an attack on frat boys. I think I speak for many when I say that we appreciate your willingness to hold philanthropy events with us and to host mixers for us where, inevitably, something breaks and we don’t even break a sweat about it. We appreciate you being our dates to this, that, and everything when you undoubtedly have a million other things to do. We appreciate you walking us home when maybe we have a little too much to drink and need a (buff) shoulder to lean on. We appreciate you for handling our all-too-often unstable emotions and putting up with our antics. Despite how I might make it seem, we really do like you.But for the love of all that is holy, text us back.
[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F02%2F16%2F6362287169799235661885500991_giphy-3.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=586&h=d7da454a5c334671d310d1987b64d36c86547a19a5d7de3e73940874141bf8aa&size=980x&c=2913514352 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F02%252F16%252F6362287169799235661885500991_giphy-3.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D586%26h%3Dd7da454a5c334671d310d1987b64d36c86547a19a5d7de3e73940874141bf8aa%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2913514352%22%7D" expand=1]