Dear Fraternity Gentlemen, Just Text Us Back
Start writing a post

Dear Fraternity Gentlemen, Just Text Us Back

"We are worthy of so much more than your half-hearted attempts to pique our interest."

Dear Fraternity Gentlemen, Just Text Us Back

For the past three years, I have had to sift my way through swarms of Chubbies and boat shoes on my way to class, as though showing off the fact that you have skipped leg day (again) is a turn-on. I have had to kick cracked red Solo cups out of my path on my way to work, the hallmark sign that someone, somewhere off-campus threw a real banger of a party the night before that I did not attend because God knows that my pride and my liver can’t take another night of failed, drunken flirtation. I have had to deal, more times than my steely heart will let me admit, with ignored texts and opened Snapchats to some frat boy in whom I invested time and energy and emotion, only to be cruelly rebuked when someone better and blonder comes along. After three long years of fraternity “gentlemen” not living up to their presumptuous title, I have had it.

Now, before we begin, I’d like to preface this article by saying that I know you are not all the same. I know that there are some of you who understand the value of a good woman and make a point to invest your own time and energy and emotion into lasting relationships with us. You compliment us when you think we look pretty (or think we need to hear it) and you make a point to ask us how our days are. You consistently invite us to your fraternity events and are a real gentleman of a date, never taking one too many shots and making a fool out of yourself and, subsequently, us. You invite us over for Netflix nights and occasionally take us out to dinner, though we understand that we’re all broke college students and date nights must be a bit more sacred during our university years. I acknowledge that you men are out there; I really do. I’m just saying that as a whole, from my experience and the tragic tales of my female peers, you don’t exactly foster positive stereotypes for frat boys as a whole.

Here’s a bit of simple logic for all of you to live by: If you do not intend to text us back, don’t lead us on. Don’t waste our time by flirting with us at a party where we could be pursuing other, more promising endeavors. Don’t play with our hearts by inviting us over and sharing a fun night together, only to let us down when you fail to spot us any form of communication in the coming days. Don’t throw us breadcrumbs here and there by Snapchatting us and texting us when it’s convenient for you, but with no intention of actually fostering something solid and real. We are worthy of so much more than your half-hearted attempts to pique our interest.

When you are interested, tell us. I’m not sure where the rumor surfaced that women are mind readers, but I’m here to squash that and let you know right know that if you don’t explicitly tell us that you have feelings or us and care of us, we will never know. Yes, I understand that there is the always imminent fear of your emotional outpouring not being reciprocated, but the reality is that if we are giving you the time of day, we probably care. If we’re playing games with you, well, I’m not going to say it’s not deserved--but maybe pursue a different lead than someone who is texting you and five other guys to secure a semi-formal date.

If we muster the courage to ask you to our semi-formals, understand that we are asking you not to stroke your ego or do you a favor, but because, with the exception of blind dates, we actually want to spend time with you. We want to share with you a fun night where we dance and laugh and have a good time. We don’t want you to black out, vomit on the bus, or not be able to keep your eyes open. Respect the fact that we have graciously extended an invitation to you, and behave according to how your mother would expect you to. Too many of you fail to see that we take the downfall for your reckless behavior. We are the ones subjected to anxiety-inducing meetings with disciplinary boards and we are the ones who suffer probation and other consequences. You get to laugh off your drunken antics with your buddies and do it all again the next night. We don’t.

Like I said before, I’m not saying you all act like this. But I do think that all of you could afford to realize that despite what popular culture may say, we are not complicated creatures. Sure, just as there are exceptions with you, there are exceptions with us--girls who require constant emotional reassurance, fancy dinners at expensive restaurants, weekly gifts to ensure your love and devotion to us. That, however, is not the majority. See, most of us just want your company. We want you to spare a night of drinking or hanging with your bros to curl up next to us and watch a movie. We want you to tell us what you’re thinking so we don’t have to make inevitably incorrect assumptions about what how you’re feeling or what you’re doing. We want you to text back, but if you’re too busy to consistently communicate, then let us know. We’ll understand.

This is not an attack on frat boys. I think I speak for many when I say that we appreciate your willingness to hold philanthropy events with us and to host mixers for us where, inevitably, something breaks and we don’t even break a sweat about it. We appreciate you being our dates to this, that, and everything when you undoubtedly have a million other things to do. We appreciate you walking us home when maybe we have a little too much to drink and need a (buff) shoulder to lean on. We appreciate you for handling our all-too-often unstable emotions and putting up with our antics. Despite how I might make it seem, we really do like you.

But for the love of all that is holy, text us back.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments