Dear Former Friends,

Friends stand up for one another, right? Not when it comes to you guys. My heart was crushed when every one of my "friends" left me. I felt totally alone. What I kept trying to remind myself was, "I'm lonely but never alone," mainly because there are a billion people on earth that might know how I felt. The ones who said would always have my back no matter what. I would always have your back. I'm the most loyal person you'll ever meet.

Where were you when I needed someone to talk to?

I remember when I was sitting in an empty classroom for lunch, one of my "friends" knew I would be there alone but she didn't care. She sat with the people who hated me. Sure, it seemed as if I was needy, but that was because I was depressed and wanted to feel better. It's a good thing all of you are out of my life. I have grown emotionally and mentally as a person.

You're a lesson, not a blessing. I now have friends that I can depend on. Back in middle/high school, you thought it was funny to make fun of my appearance and the way I spoke. Well, I should've walked away from you because your words were toxic.

You kept repeating I was fat, ugly, and other words I'd rather not repeat every day for years.

I'm not saying I was the perfect friend. I have said some things I wish I could take back but I did apologize for it afterward. I actually apologized to anyone I was mean to in elementary school. I'm not sure why I've said some awful things. I was a very angry kid but I learned from it. I'm more respectful towards others and try to learn from my mistakes.

Whenever kids from my grade would bully me or gave me a disgusted look, you didn't tell them to shove off or anything to stand up for me. I was jealous of those who had friends that stood up for their friends. Maybe my standard when it comes to friends were too high.

Now? I'd rather stand up for myself. I'm not the best with confrontation but if needed to, I'd stand up for not only myself but for others. Good thing I have better friends now. Friends I can laugh with, feel like I can talk to them about any topic without being judged and to hang out with.

Because of my past experience dealing with friends and bullies, I've stopped trusting people or try not to talk to everyone I've met. I've always had the mentality that everyone would leave me in the end. I'd rather enjoy the friends I have now. I always think that people are talking about me behind my back and sometimes they were. I have learned not to care what people say about me. I would like to think I have a thicker skin now. I have to remember that this isn't high school. It is possible to be selfish when it comes to my well-being.

I will not lower my standards when it comes to friends, dating and certainly not when it comes to my goals. I know what I want in life. I see there were ex-friends from my past trying to friend me on Facebook again. I'm not sure why. Not sure why you would friend me when you said you hated me. Maybe you're curious as to how I am doing now.

I'm doing well for myself, thanks if you're concerned but I will not accept your friend request. I am an awesome person who is working towards meeting goals I would like to achieve. I don't have to lower them. Instead, people should try and meet them or I'll move on. I guess that's why ex-friends are a good thing to have. On to the next.

Sincerely,

A brand new me.