Dear Ex-Roommate,
This is a letter to you, but it serves more as a sense of closure for myself. First of all, I'd just like to say that it is extremely unfortunate how this, our friendship, had to end. I believe we are both at fault for what happened; the hurtful words said to and about each other, the passive aggressive ways in which we chose to communicate, and most of all how we handled the situation that led to me staying somewhere else until you moved out. Not speaking a word to each other since.
We started our friendship in the sixth grade when I was the new kid trying to navigate the world of middle school. You, unlike some, were always nice to me. The friendship only grew when we both transferred schools for eighth grade. Coincidentally, we ended up at the same one. We lived in the same neighborhood and even though we parted ways for high school we still hung out-- a lot. Then I moved to a new neighborhood only a couple streets away. But, as fate would have it, a couple months later you were living on the same street as me, even closer than we were before. I always knew that I had a friend just a couple houses away.
I don't know exactly what happened to us within a semester of college-- of us rooming together, six years of friendship was destroyed. Maybe it was the small space we were enclosed in. Maybe it's because we didn't agree on everything. Maybe it's because I never stood up for myself when you were being unreasonable. Maybe it's because I was tired of you walking all over me, taking advantage of my kindness. Maybe it's because when you sent me that text on Thanksgiving break, telling me that I needed to move out, I finally decided I was done.
It takes a lot for me to be completely done with a situation but you succeeded. Congrats. I will not indulge you or feed your satisfaction though in knowing you hurt me because you already know that; I mean that was your intention wasn't it? Well it was, and I'm not going to lie, my response to that text was aimed at hurting you in the same way. Trust me, I know that is wrong of me and as I said before, the fault of the situation falls on both of us. So I just want to say one thing, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that you thought it was okay to treat me the way you did. I'm sorry I never stood up to you because in the end, me not doing so was a disservice to us both. I'm sorry that you were never there for me even though you said you were. I'm sorry that you weren't there to pick me up when I asked for help after the countless times I responded to that same call. I'm sorry that you felt you needed to spread lies to my friends, turning them against me. I mean I guess for that I should really say thank you because now I know they were never really my friends. I'm sorry that you didn't have the inclination to talk to me in person about what was bothering you, instead, sending a text with an ultimatum. I'm sorry you felt that I wasn't a true friend even though I tried my best. Lastly, I'm sorry for anything I ever did that hurt you.
Maybe one day we will mature and rather than avoiding eye contact on campus, or glaring at one another, we will say "Hey." I don't expect us to be friends again or even go further than a polite greeting but who knows. For now....
I wish you all the best.
Your ex-roommate,
Robbi
