Dear Diabetes,
I hate you. What more can I say? I have watched as friend after friend has been put in an intensive care unit because of diabetic ketoacidosis. I have watched as you have turned my life upside down and inside out. You are a disease -- but, more than that, you are a curse. There is no cure and no way out. With you, there are only two choices -- fight, or die. There is no in between. You are a cruel disease which plagues many people.
Most people unaffected by you think they have you figured out. They think there is only Type 1 or Type 2, and everything is A-OK as long as we stay away from sugar, right? Wrong! There are people out there, like me, who have a special form my endocrinologist likes to call Type 1-1/2. You not only make my blood sugar skyrocket when I eat sugar, but also when I eat carbs or stress out. You are the devil's mistress. In the words of my friend Qwinn, "Because of you, I am the proud owner of a useless pancreas."
I never asked to be stuck with you, but, as I said earlier, I am stuck with you -- for life. You make my life a pain. Wake up, test my sugar. Eat food, test my sugar. Feel sick, test my sugar, go to sleep, test my sugar, and so on and so forth.
I'm absolutely terrified of needles. So, you might think, "Man, she must have gotten over it from all those finger pricks and injections." Ehh... wrong! Again! Diabetes, you have made me face my fear, and you know what? I am pretty convinced you just made it worse. Everyone who has diabetes understands the constant finger pricks and injections. Some of them even have to deal with pumps. Our lives with you aren't easy.
Another horrible thing about being stuck with you are the friends who want to help but realize they don't really know what to do. They, like most, think, "Oh, it's just about watching sugar." So, they constantly ask, "Should you eat that?" Or, my personal favorite, "How is your sugar? Is it high or low? What's the number? Have you taken your insulin?" And they ask you all of that without giving you a chance to say a word. Then, when you finally tell them, they back off -- kind of like having a second set of parents away from parents.
You are the reason going to sleep is scary sometimes because I don't know if I may wake up. Or, if I do wake up, I don't know how low or high my sugar may be. You singlehandedly scare adults and children alike and make the world a more frightening place. So, diabetes, I hope you know that, one day, if they ever find a cure, I will say "adios" to you like a cheating ex.
Sincerely, without love,
Alicia and her useless pancreas
