In January, I never imagined something like this would happen. I went to Disney World, enjoyed time with my family, worked a good-paying job, and started my second semester of graduate school.
In February, you were known around the country, but you didn't start hurting us yet. I continued to spend time with my family, work, go to school, and start a new relationship.
In March, we were sent home to quarantine to protect ourselves from an evil disease, from you, COVID-19.
From you, Coronavirus.
In March, we were ordered to work from home if possible. We were told never to leave our homes unless it was absolutely necessary. Therefore, I was without a job and house-ridden for at least two weeks.
My two weeks are up, but the social distance guidelines are extended to at least April 30th. My anxiety is soaring in the dark, gloomy skies. My eyes are tired from staring at computer screens and the TV screen.
My family is getting stir crazy, and the bitterness is so bad that it is uncomfortable and depressing.
Odds are I won't go back to work until the summer.
Odds are I won't see my grandparents, my extended family, my friends, and my boyfriend for at least another month.
All because of you.
I have always been a homebody. I loved spending time inside my home, laying in bed and watching fun movies and shows. But this is so different.
There is tension and the fear of the unknown. There are tears flowing and hearts racing. I go outside to smell the fresh air, and I come back inside unhappy because I know I can't leave and do more with the outside.
I never thought we had to go through something like this. This is terrible in every way. People are dying in America, let alone the whole world, and my heart breaks for every single victim and their families.
But there is hope for the future.
There is hope that when we stay at home and do our part, we break your back. We flatten you out. We destroy you.
There is hope that people will recover from you and walk out stronger than ever before.
There is hope that you will run your course and stop hurting us.
There is hope that as long as we keep ourselves healthy in our own homes, we will get through this.
Don't get me wrong. I spend a ton of my time thinking about you and I worry about never seeing anyone again. I think about potentially getting exposed. The negative shit may overrule the positives sometimes.
But the positives are most important. I shake off the bad feelings and bring on the good. I keep my hope for myself and for everyone around me because we need that right now.
I am allowed to grieve for the old life we used to live... and let me do that because you took that away from us for a short time. But we will get that back, and when we do, I'll never take my life for granted ever again.
You will lose this war.
