Dear Dan Turner,
Dan? Can I call you that? There are many other names I should be calling you, right now, but I guess I'll stick with Dan for now. I am writing this letter to discuss how poorly you handled your son's sentence, and to tell you why people like you are the reason that rape culture is so prominent, and not viewed as a serious issue. How many times a day throughout your childhood, or even adulthood, have you heard, "Man, I raped that test," or vise versa, "That test raped me." There are many other times when this word has been used to express "destroying" or "attacking" and that just goes to show that even people who misuse the word know that rape is an act of violence, and should never be taken lightly.
You tell the judge that if your son could go back in time he would change the way he handled the situation. Thus proving you acknowledge he did something wrong. You say how sorry your son is, but sorry isn't a time machine that's going to take back the night for the victim. Sorry is weak, and in no way making this situation better because actions speak so much louder than words.
Next you address your son's easygoing personality. He must have been a real schmoozer to convince the victim to go behind a dumpster with him. The fact that he doesn't "pre-judge" proves that she could have been anyone, stranger or friend alike. His coping skills have gotten him through the past fifteen months but he's not the one who should be having to cope. What about the girl he raped? What about her coping skills? I guess it didn't matter to you that she went into complete isolation because she couldn't cope. She couldn't sleep unless it was light outside. She relived this nightmare daily.
To talk about how smart he is and his dedication to school work is irrelevant in this context. If anything, it proves that if he was so smart, and had such a great work ethic, he knew exactly what he was doing. All of his sports achievements show what a great team player he is. I'm so happy that you got to take pleasure in enjoying your son playing sports from a young age, while he pleasured himself with a drunk female. Being accepted into Stanford was a great accomplishment for him, but as you stated only receiving a 60 percent scholarship was still a burden on your family. Paying for a lawyer to make sure your son was seen as the victim seemed like the right thing to do at the time though, right? That wasn't a burden on your family though, right? You must have had to pay that lawyer big money for that load of crap.
After his first semester, you said your son came home and told you how much he was struggling. You didn't know he was struggling so much, but then again you didn't know your son was a rapist so your judgement of character seems flawed. He was desperately trying to fit into the culture of alcoholism and partying, but you sent him back to school anyway. You believe this is the cause of the events on January 17 and 18. You believe that because of his alcohol consumption, he took advantage of another person. Then, you begin to tell us that maybe Stanford was a mistake. All I can say to this is are you kidding me? You actually believe that going to Stanford, and being too far from home was the reason that your son thought it was OK to rape a human being? Did he forget how to be a decent person while he was away?
Lastly, you tell us how your son will never be happy again. Good. No one cares that your son is never going to be happy again because he stripped a girl of her innocence. All you can think about is the price he has to pay for 20 minutes of action. You don't think that this is wrong? What if your son was raped? What if he was the one that was hating his life because he drank too much and was found behind a dumpster unconscious? There is no difference.
By excusing this action, you are letting it be known that if the victim was your wife, or daughter, that it's okay that they were raped. Not once do you ever mention the severity of the situation, or how traumatized the victim must feel. Not once do you mention how painfully sorry you feel for the family. No one wants your son to be a member of society right now, and you wish for him to be let off on probation. That is absolutely disgusting. One in five college students are sexually assaulted and their rapists don't deserve to be punished? Or is it just your son? He must be a special case because he's white, an Ivy League student, and he has dreams.
Reality check for you, sir -- we all have dreams. Every single human being who has been assaulted, sexually or not, has had dreams. Those dreams are put aside because of actions like your son's. You have this letter out there for every single person to have access to, people who have been raped, and them reading this makes it seem like it's their fault.
To every single person out there, remember that the victim is never at fault. Talk to someone, no matter the consequences the other person may receive.
Dan Turner, there is a special place in this world for you, and our society is not it. Let it be known, that no matter the punishment faced by your son, you, your wife, and him will forever be shamed, and known as condoners of rape.
Very respectfully,
A 20-year-old college student whose story you'll never know.
