Dear baby brother,

Having two older siblings and being the youngest for four years, I was completely ecstatic to finally be an older sibling myself. A beautiful baby boy was on his way, and he could not have been given a more loving family. My little brother entered the world too early and was the tiniest baby I had ever seen.

Being only four years old my memories are limited of when he was born, but the two years he was on earth will forever stick in my mind. A family could not love and adore this premature little boy any more than he was. My family of five turned into six and we were complete.

My mom was truly a mother bear through it all, watching every move any nurse or doctor made while handling her precious son. My dad was a rock to help keep everything calm when emotions got out of control. My sister and I were just kids who could not fully understand most of the things going on around us, and my brother was another helping hand during all the chaos.

Many trials came along with having a premature baby, but the day he got to leave the hospital after all the surgeries and all the different hospitals, was one of the happiest days for us. My family was prepared for the new journey he was going to take us on.

My sister and I were able to play the most realistic games of doctor and nurse because our house became half hospital. We had feeding tubes for our baby dolls just like our baby brother had, IV bags, syringes, and much more. None of us looked at my baby brother as a problem or someone with "no quality of life" as one doctor actually told my parents.

He was not different, frustrating, or a hassle, he was perfect. He was our whole world.

He was in a wheelchair, and you may not realize how important wheelchairs are, but there are many different types and for someone to sit in one all day it needs to be comfortable and a good fit for them. The problem with wheelchairs is they are a necessity for people, yet they are so expensive some families can not afford the kind they really need.

At five years old I realized my little brother had not only my heart but everyone in my families heart.

It was a stressful journey which still consisted of hospital trips, living in the Ronald McDonald house, and constant care for him. Maybe you thought this article would explain the trials of having a family member who was disabled, all the stares people give, the small comments someone would make that would make you lose all your kindness, but instead, it is about how loved someone can be, no matter their problems. We could not imagine him being any more perfect than he was, he had no problems in our eyes.

After a fun Valentine's Day at school, my little six-year-old self never imagined my life changing the way it would in just one day. Our little bundle of joy left this world in his sleep. A night I will never, ever forget.

If you have ever had a nightmare that stuck with you all your life, it is how this memory will always feel to me. A nightmare.

Going to the hospital in the early hours of the morning was not something my sister and I understood. Sitting in a room and thinking everything would be okay, but instead finding out your world will forever be changed is something no one should have to go through. We sat there, oblivious, my sister and I, two little kids who loved their little brother with all their heart being told he passed away.

Heartbreak is the most indescribable feeling, there are no words strong enough to explain it.

If you have ever lost a loved one you know how the feeling never goes away, no matter how many " I'm sorry" or "just give it time" sayings you hear, it never goes away. You simply learn to live with it.

I will always think about what it would be like if you were still here, you would graduate high school when I graduate college. You would have been in sports and I would have called you all the time to see how you were doing. I will never stop thinking about what it would be like if you were here.

So, dear baby brother

We all miss you, with everything we have, we miss you.