Dean From Gilmore Girls Was an Emotionally Abusive "Nice Guy"
Start writing a post

Dean From Gilmore Girls Was An Emotionally Abusive "Nice Guy"

Everyone saw him as "the perfect boyfriend," but he was actually the worst.

Elite Daily

I was on the Dean and Rory train, just like everyone else, until I recently re-watched the show and noticed that Dean was actually a terrible boyfriend to Rory a lot of the time. He had the sweet and innocent facade, but there were numerous times when he was actually a really emotionally abusive boyfriend to Rory.

I'm not saying that Rory's other two boyfriends were complete gems, but while Logan and Jess grew and matured over the seasons, Dean continued to be controlling and abusive mentally to everyone around him. The worst part about this is that everyone, including Lorelai, saw him as "the nice guy" and not for what he really was.

It started with small things, like how talked about wanting a "Donna Reed" style housewife, or how he made Rory feel bad about liking school dances, but it progressed into outright abuse later in the series. For example, Dean tells Rory that he loves her and then waits no more than thirty seconds before blowing his lid, yelling at Rory for not saying it back. Rory ends up begging for Dean not to be mad at her, which is a trend that's repeated throughout the majority of their relationship.

Some of Dean's worst traits came out in regards to Rory having guy friends. Let's start with Tristin. Rory and Tristin were hardly friends for the majority of his presence in the show, but Dean consistently fed into the drama caused by Tristin and even said "I would kill you" at the Chilton dance when Tristin tries to start a fight. Red flag, much? After this, he continues to blame Rory for Tristin's immature behavior and makes it out to be her fault that he acts the way. Typical abuser trait.

Dean's abusive nature is heightened even more when Jess comes to town. Yes, I know that Rory liked Jess, but Dean still had no right to flip his handle the way he did (before he even knew that Rory had feelings for Jess). Going beyond calling Rory's house about thirty times in one day. he also got mad at her every time she even talked to Jess - even when it wasn't her fault. He was extremely jealous and clingy, and even tried to pick a fight with Jess multiple times. Of course, all this pushed Rory away, which made Dean even more possessive. Vicious cycle.

Finally, Dean breaks up with Rory in public - twice. In one of those times, he even yelled at her in front over everyone.Then, he goes and marries someone (at eighteen years-old) while he's still in love with Rory. While in this marriage, we not only see just how emotionally abusive and immature he is towards Lindsay, but he has absolutely no hesitation when he gets the chance to cheat on her with Rory. He sweet talks his way back into Rory's heart and pounces just when he knows that he can. Later in that episode we also see him go home and yell at his wife for answering his phone while he was out. She sheepishly apologizes, which may be a hint at their abusive relationship, but regardless, it's difficult to watch the whole thing happen. Dean is obviously taking out his guilt on Lindsay, who has been nothing but the perfect housewife Dean has always wanted.

Thankfully, Dean's presence in Rory's life ends not long after they sleep together, because I couldn't bear to see him emotionally abuse Rory or anyone else in the show much longer. Thankfully, we see in the Gilmore Girls revival that Dean has indeed matured and is finally happy with his life. Took long enough.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less

Unleash Inspiration: 15 Relatable Disney Lyrics!

Leave it to Disney to write lyrics that kids of all ages can relate to.

The 15 most inspiring Disney songs

Disney songs are some of the most relatable and inspiring songs not only because of the lovable characters who sing them, but also because of their well-written song lyrics. While some lyrics make more sense with knowledge of the movie's story line that they were written for, other Disney lyrics are very relatable and inspiring for any listener.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments