Depression is common in many people, especially college students. If it's not something you're personally affected by you probably know somebody who is. It's sometimes hard to explain it to someone who doesn't go through it on a day to day basis. Some days it's random tears, some it's not being able to get out of bed because the weight on your chest is a hinder to your ability to do anything and other days, it's emptiness. Complete and utter emptiness. Emotions are nonexistent on those days. Some days, you can live peacefully, unscathed by the anxiety and sadness that come with depression. Other days, not so much. On those days, it's important to be understanding but also just handle me with care.
No, I do not mean baby me, pity me, or any of that. That doesn't make me feel any better about myself and sometimes when I'm depressed nothing does. A lot of good things could be happening in my life but sometimes it's extremely hard for me to feel optimistic and happy about them even if I want to and know I should. When I feel hollow with emptiness and the weeping sends shakes throughout my whole body, hold me, please. Let me know that I'm not alone. Under no circumstances, tell me that it's all in my head and just a mental state.
Know that you can make me feel extremely loved and cared for but that won't stop the illness in my head from making me believe otherwise or letting myself feel that love. Know that I do appreciate it and I probably love you too but there is something in my chemical balance that is off. I know that when I start to pull back and withdraw from things, that most times it's my depression slowly creeping back in. Don't call me lazy, please just let me be. Don't make me do something that I don't want to do. Don't force me to be somewhere when I mentally and physically am not feeling it. I know I let friends down when I cancel last minute and I don't always want to but my depression makes it hard to want to do things. So trust me when I say, you'll have more fun without me. If I was there, I would be aloof and withdrawn. Just because I'm out and about, doesn't mean my depression takes a vacation. If only that were the case. When I am out of my funk, trust me I'll be back to the person you're used to.
Sometimes it is hard to see clearly when you go through the depression ~funk.~ Not everyone deals with and manages their depression the same way but it's safe to say that it's time we start talking about it and working to end the stigma that goes with depression, no matter what case it is. Not everyone that is depressed wants to inflict harm on others, most of us just want to be genuinely happy. While my depression is part of me, it's not who I am. My promise to you is that I will not let my depression win entirely. Some days will be harder than others but I will always be willing to fight.
