Loss is a fact of life, and as unfortunate and sad a thought that is, it is something that people will have to learn. We all hope that we won't have to know what it is like until we are older, or that it will happen when we are too young to remember. A lot of people struggle with loss and how to cope with it. There are many different ways that people deal with losing a loved one. Some eat, some take care of others, and others may throw themselves into work to try and keep their mind off of it. And while none of these are exactly healthy ways to deal with a loved one passing, I cannot say that I haven't done any or all of them. There are no set rules or guidelines to help people move on. Maybe that is what makes it so hard to do. The most important thing to remember is to not shut off your emotions. If you think that you have to be strong for everyone else, you don't.
Crying, while at some times and in some places can be inappropriate, can really help. My advice for crying is to get it out of your system. Whether you cry alone or with others for comfort, that is up to you. Just cry. It doesn't make you weak, it makes you human. Be there for other members of your family as well. Take advantage of your support systems and make sure that you are there to support others, too. Nothing that you say is going to make it better for someone that is hurting. If you feel like you need to say something or that they would want you to say something remember that you being there is enough. This may be a cliche but think of all of the good times you had with that person. Don't let your last memories with them be ones that you'll regret. And one of the most important things to remember is this: don't get caught up in the "what-ifs". It will only bring you pain in the end. There is nothing that you could have done or can change. Instead think of the person they would want you to be and try to make them proud. Another thing to keep in mind while learning to cope with the loss of someone that you held dear is to not let their memory fade away. Make sure that you still talk about them and keep them close to your heart. It may be difficult for some to talk about them casually soon after their passing, so don't be surprised if some more tears are shed.
The last thing that I have to say is that it takes time. People can only deal with so much at a time. It doesn't happen overnight. It also doesn't make you a bad person if it doesn't take you long to end your grieving process. Living without them doesn't get easier, you just come to accept that they aren't there anymore. Depending on what you believe, you will get to see them again. It is never going to be easy to accept that someone that you were close to is gone, and it will have a huge impact on your day to day life. The best that any of us can really do is to take it day by day and strive to make them proud of who you have become.
