I am a difficult person at times. I like my things organized in a specific way. I hate messes! I can't stand them. It drives me crazy when my desk is the innocent victim of discarded papers and an askew row of colored pens. I hate it when my notes aren't color coded. I make check list after check list, all containing the same tasks. Then I have check lists for my check lists. I constantly go through my closet to make things neater, usually ending up putting everything back where it came from. Walking into my dining room and seeing my table covered in papers and bags stresses me out if it remains not cleaned for an extended period of time. I hate when my things are dirty: blankets, counters, clothes, hands, etc. If you know somebody anything like me, then this article is for you.
I drive a lot of people crazy. I am much more clean and organized than the average young adult. It's a part of my personality. Dealing with me can be stressful. To those of you are are obsessed with cleaning and organizing, let me try and explain what that is like to other people who may not understand.
People like me cannot help the way we are. Messes give us anxiety. The degree to which we are affected by messes varies depending on the individual. I should probably make a distinction here; messes are collections of items that are garbage, such as tissues or empty boxes, wrappers, or nonessential cluttering things. Disorganization is the accumulation of clothing, blankets, books, and messes in a manner where there is no distinction between the mess and other other things. Every item is strewn about with no order. I can deal with disorganization, most of the time, but I cannot deal with messes.
For people like me, seeing messes and disorganization is difficult. Some individuals are hyper-organized because of a traumatic event, and this is a coping mechanism. Others, like me, are just like this for no particular reason that we are aware of. What it is important to understand is that being hyper-organized is not a bad thing. Yes, we sometimes come off and bossy and overly-authoritative because we demand that messes are cleaned and that some order is given to disorder. Yes, we realize that the average person has no desire to follow our organizational habits. And yes, we understand that we can be difficult at times. But please be patient with us and please try to help us not break down from anxiety because of messes.
When dealing with somebody who is hyper-organized, the worst thing to do is try and play off the mess or disorganization as nothing. Yeah, in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter. I know that. But that does nothing to change the fact that I cannot help but feel anxious when it comes to messes. This anxiousness is not simple discomfort. This anxiousness is the beginning of an anxiety attack. Far too often I witness people having anxiety attacks of different levels for different reasons, and those people are shoved aside because of their heightened emotional state. Anxiety is a serious problem. It is not fun to have an anxiety attack, and I wish that I didn't have to deal with them. I certainly would not wish that on any one else. But anxiety is real and it happens for many reasons.
In my case, my hyper-organization is both a blessing and a curse. I am so organized that I rarely lose things and I always know where everything is. But, the anxiety that results from messes and disorganization has the potential to cause problems between me and other people. Sometimes, I cannot see past the mess; it is all I can think about or focus on. I'm not sure why I am like this, but I know that so many other people struggle with this for their own reasons. Regardless of the reason, it is not okay to joke around with us by making a mess on purpose or pretending to do something that you know will get us worked up. I hate it when people's shoes touch by blankets. When people pretend to step on my blankets or they don't take me seriously when I tell them to take their shoes off, I feel like I do not matter as a person because of my hyper-organization. It is degrading.
When somebody has a problem like I do, it is never okay to try and joke around about it. All that does is make us feel awful about the fact that we cannot control this problem and it makes us hate you. I have had several people try and joke with me about my hyper-organization and let me tell you, my opinion of those people has slid down the road of negativity. I cannot allow somebody who has no care about me into my life; this problem I have is a part of me, and I cannot deny that fact. But it is something that I know is good, though annoying to other people.
Next time you come into contact with somebody who is hyper-organized, don't be stupid. Don't try and be funny. All you will do is make a reputation for yourself as uncaring and rude. Personally, I don't have time for people like that. Maybe some do, but I have no interest in allowing people who can't accept me into my life.
