What do all men and women have in common? Imperfections. Although some are more detrimental than others. I recently took a poll of my family and friends to find out what their deal breakers are in relationships. I was sometimes surprised, even amused at the responses I received. Mostly 30 somethings, I gathered responses from men and women, between 25- 50 years of age (talk about a generation gap). The interesting thing in that, however, was that despite the age, we all seem to still want the same things. Check out their deal breakers below and weigh in on the conversation.
1. “Bad breath. Bad hygiene.” – Shawn, 25
2. “Too many kids. And they all got different daddies.” – J.B., 31
3. “If a man has kids and he speaks negatively about his child’s mother, that’s a deal breaker for me. Whatever the situation is, you should never talk bad about the mother of your child. At one point, you thought enough to lay down with her.” –Kiondra, 30
4. “My number one deal breaker is a man who has no ambition or no drive in life. I don’t like to see a man too complacent where he is. I want someone who inspires me and who wants to grow.” – Carrie B., 30 something #TRBCB
5. “Being broke. That’s a deal breaker. A man who never has any money. I need someone who can bring something to the table, someone I can build with. I don’t want no broke n****.” –Name withheld, age 38
6. “Doesn’t take care of his kids. No job. Cheating, too.” – C.H., 33
7. “Being disrespectful.” –Kionti, 33
8. “My number one deal breaker is someone without a sense of humor. I am constantly laughing at any and everything, so I need my partner to be able to do the same.” –Taylor, 19
9. “I guess repeated cheating… Let’s face it, we all stayed with a man that has cheated on us…extra extra stinky. F***ed once and you truly sorry and I truly love you, absolutely we can go on, but if you f***ed up a second time, that’s it.” –Chardeb, 35
10. “Lying to me is the worst. That means that trust is gone and that may never be regained. Just tell me the truth from the jump. I can adjust to most things, but not lying.” –Ryan, 28
11. “When you show me you have absolutely no regards for my feelings. Unapologetic. Oh and physical abuse is an absolute no-go.” –Kesha, 34
12. “Lying. Cheating.” –Toya, 33
13. “A deal breaker is not being honest with your intentions.” –Tiffani, 28
14. “Cheating more than once.” –Karen who requested her picture be shown, 56 (image unavailable, lol)
15. “Low intelligence level.” –Tiffany, 35
16. “Not finishing the PLAY: Not doing what you say you’re going to do.” –Andre P., 35
17.“There is no deal breakers with me, I’m understanding and know that we are all imperfect. Look at it like this. How can you pursue someone you feel you can spend the rest of your life with judging their flaws and you have some. What makes your flaws less than theirs? If I want you, I am willing to work through your wrongdoings.” –Courtney (NexRay), 33
18.“Asking for money.” –Liz, 43
19.“If we date, a man that has bad breath and hard working, we can deal with that. But if he is lazy with a lot of kids, we ain’t going nowhere. Bye. If you are together and he got kids out there and he doesn’t want to work hard to take care of home and kids…bye. If he is a liar and lazy and cheating. Bye.” –Bonnie, 50
20.“Telling y’all business to exes.” –Desirhea, 36
21.“I think if love is forgiveness, then most can be forgiven. But violence, brutal, disrespectful, bad talking…not believing in God Jesus Christ is all deal breakers. #1 STD.” –Lola, 35
22. “Dishonesty and apathy.” –Jon, 30
23. “Lack of communication.” –Ulanda, 35
24. “Trust.” –Tish B., 36 fine as wine
25. "I think all men cheat at some point in a relationship, so I would say the number one deal breaker is a man who doesn't work." -Ebony, 34
26. "Cheating." -Sherry, 41
27. "Cheating for me." -Yosha, 35
Special thanks to the friends, family and strangers who participated in this survey. This was one of the best times I’ve had researching for work in a while. For more on love, life and relationships, you can always read more on my blog.
